SO I VISITED THE MOSES GUY AGAIN..........honey bun of the weird........

I dropped in on the "i wanna be a prophet of God,like Moses" guy again on friday........on the floor there sat a Nike shoebox with a unopened honey bun on top of it.........i asked why he had a honeybun sitting on a shoebox........he said "i'm sacrificing that honey bun to Jehovah".........he went on to say "i wanna be a prophet of God" and i said "like Moses"........as i was getting ready to leave, i asked him if he had eaten lunch yet.......he replied "not yet, i'm bout to eat that honey bun,though"..........

Rock it like a prophet.........eat the sacrifices........

Stak


Addendum: Rhi is having some sort of poetry monday thing and i thought i might share a little something.........so be prepared to have your soul racked with pain as a result of reading my sublimely shitty verses..........heh heh....

HATE SPEECH HAS NO PLACE AT RYAN CLARK'S FUNERAL........

Ryan Clark is young man from my area who was one of the first murdered at VA. TECH when that disturbed individual went on his shooting spree monday......by all accounts, he was an upstanding fellow who managed a 4.0 GPA and was to graduate with a triple major in a month or so........his poor family, how devastated they must feel.....there have been lots of tears shed on the news as he was very well liked.........my community is grieving his loss........the funeral is this weekend, and reportedly about 100 members of The Hokie marching band are making the trip here for it.........

Someone else is also planning to make the trip as well........the sick and twisted members of the cult that calls itself the WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH.....they attend the funerals of war dead and carry sick,insensitive picket signs stating things like "Pray for more dead soldiers" and "God hates fags"........in fact, that's their website URL www.godhatesfags.com.......just unbelievable that someone could get it that twisted........and the more i think about it, the more angry i get that these loons are bringing their poisonous hatred to my backyard............check them out on wikipedia, it's eye-opening........

Rock it like you just might lead a counter protest....don't let the loons win....

Stak

PARENTING QUESTION.........degrees of pressure......

Baby Aidan is crawling like a madman now...........at the last doctor visit he sits above the 95th percentile for length and weight........he is already demonstrating a strength of will,intelligence and good nature that lead me to believe that one day he might be an exceptional athlete............in my life i have had regrets having not even tried more organized sports.......i never even played organized baseball once............i wish i had..........my junior high defensive football coach was an ex-professional baseball player...........he played for the CINCY REDS........he told me at the end of my 7th grade football season that he wanted me to play 2nd base for him based solely on my athleticism on the football field..........i never tried out..........because i'd never had the oppurtunity to play baseball........

Is it too much to believe that i may have a sports star in the making?............how much pressure amounts to being the equivalent of a stage door parent?.............

Rock it like hope..........

Stak

WELL OF COURSE............Mudd wins............i love my dog.....

MUDD VS. THE SERPENT............hog nose snakes should stay away from my house.......

BLOG ISOLATION..........no blog is an island.........

Okay, i know the fucking rules here...........i do realize that one must read and comment to be read and commented upon.........but i think i may be afflicted with some weird blogger disease.......i am the anti-blogger.........all of those silly things that bloggers do the generate traffic, i have zero stomach for(enjoy the my dangling participle you fucks)........i HATE HATE HATE memes..........i don't wanna play the game............take your blog devices and shove them up your considerably gigantic ass,blogosphere...........

To this point, i have absolutely ZERO entrants in my "design my new tattoo" contest(i know, that's kind of a blog device,right..........well so what......i reserve the right to repeatedly contradict myself.....and imma use it.......it feels great).........i was looking forward to the responses to that........however, i forgot the fact that i only have something like 5 readers.........makes contests sorta moot...........

I thought posting my bare ass on the internets for the entire world to see would generate some interest..........so far, only my wife stares at it.........

I suppose i should be thankful for the high quality of individual that reads my drivel on a regular basis............truly some fine folks...........but my vanity won't let me............*grumble*

Stak

WELCOME BACK TO REALLY WEIRD..........i gotta new job..........

As some of you may know, i work with the mentally ill..........for the past 3 and a half years or so, i've been working with children.....mentally ill children are one thing.........ADULTS with mental illness are a whole 'nother circus.......on my new job i'm working with adults........i would suppose there are few fields of work more colorful.......

Today,i went around to meet some of the patients i'll be working with........myself and my team leader visited their homes.........i knew i was in for a ride when we pulled up to the door of the first patient's apartment in the projects........a sign on the door boldly proclaimed "DISCIPLE OF MOSES"........i thought to myself "Holy shit!!! This is the projects!! I could get shot!! Where do they keep the crack and marijuana? Where are all the crack hos i've heard so much about? I wonder if I could get a gat here on the down low and cheap. Nice sign".........over the course of an hour long visit, this patient proclaimed "I wanna be a prophet of God,like Moses" approximately 647 times(it was his pat response to every question we posed).........it got to the point that i was finishing his catch phrase for him.........he would say "I wanna be a prophet of God" and i would butt in "like Moses"..........it was fun..........i don't think he liked me stealing his thunder like that........he asked me to read a Bible verse.......i politely declined stating that it was my personal policy never to mix business and fiction....he looked at me quizzically and said "I wanna be a prophet of God".........i finished his catch phrase for him.........

The next patient proclaimed that the reason she always has unsafe sex is because rubbers dry her out down there.........she's almost 60 years old.......and a grandma to boot....i didn't wanna hear about that stuff.......imagine your grandma showing up at the health department to get some treatment for a wicked case of the clap........i know,right..........

At the final visit of the day, the patient told me i look like a Greek God......i knew he was bullshitting..........i only look like that on GOOD days.........



Rock it like your job will never be boring.......be kind to the beloved lunatics in your life..........

Stak

NO TITLE NECESSARY............commentary either.........

PEEWEE............and no this post has NOTHING to do with a penis......

I love football.......almost to the point of fanaticism......oh hell, i AM a fanatic actually........in the off-season, i long for pre-season.......i pay attention to all the off-season moves and speculate which team will draft which player.......i play fantasy football during the regular season......and i faithfully hitch my hopes to the one-wheeled wagon that is THE ATLANTA FALCONS.........yep, imma fanatic......

I think the reason i love football so much is the oppurtunity to live vicariously through the players, experience their triumphs and failures if you will......i played the game once upon a time....and NFL and college ball helps me relive my days playing rec. league and junior high ball.......

Sadly, i never once had the oppurtunity to play on a winning team......every team i played on was the rebirth(or afterbirth maybe) of the Bad News Bears,only they were football teams instead of baseball teams..........i excelled to a point within these failed organizations......but as they say "there is no I in team"......i was hampered by the fact that i was never a very big guy also......

I remember when i played on my first team at 6 or 7.......we were THE BULLDOGS.......but as poorly coached as we were, it would've made more sense to call us THE BULLSHIT........my family was poor at the time, so instead of cleats, i had to wear my regular tennis shoes...they were Payless specials or "catheads" as everyone called them.........not even real Chuck Taylors..........and they always flew off when i ran............our stupid coaches had me running alot as i played half-back and returned kickoffs.........on the first play of the season as i ran back a kickoff, i was hit from two sides and upended.......my left shoe must've flown 30 feet..........i was mortified........i'm not sure if we won a single game that season.........

My skill and fearlessness had increased exponentially by the time i reached 7th grade......i played free safety(roverback)for TABOR JUNIOR HIGH in Warner Robins,GA.......and i was a starter........i think i missed 4 tackles all season.......but i made those tackles at the expense of my body.........at something around 5ft tall and less than 120lbs, i was not intimidating to opposing running backs......so instead of trying to evade my tackles, they ran straight at me.....it hurt...........but most of the time i made the tackle........even if the guy that just flattened me outweighed me by a hundred lbs.........

The following season, i turned around at the door of the gym on the day of football tryouts......not too long after that i picked up drums.......now I'M the one doing the brutalizing..........

And i've gotten great pleasure out of watching the exploits of others on the field........NFL and college to be sure.......but most notably my son, who has enjoyed success on his rec. league football teams..........

Rock it like a FALCONS fan........NEVER give up on the ones you love.........

Stak

HAPPY EASTER TO ALL MY PEEPS!!.........or to quote Paris Hilton, "That's hot".......

The sex faces on the bunnies made me giggle............


Rock it like you're a marshmallow pornographer........sex your peeps.......

Stak

I COULD USE A SHOUT OUT RIGHT ABOUT NOW.........

while things seem to be going well, i'm feeling low...............


can i get a shout out?...............


i need it....................



i really really need it............

Stak

SHEER MOVIE-GOING PLEASURE............gore,violence and sex make me giddy.......

ONCE AGAIN,I'M SHOWING MY ASS..........what's new,right?.......

it has cake on it at least..............actually, that's a Napolean(i know, appropriate) from Sunshine Bakery..........tasty stuff........of course, i threw it out and drank a beer instead.........no ass confections for me............anyway, this is for you,Rhi........you wretch..........

*hanging my head.........it's only a short jump from here to internet porn*

Stak

TATTOOED NATION.........a contest..........

I've been thinking...........in this time of transition, i want something to commemorate the change........i have some tattoos........they are all strictly black work..........i want more(because everyone knows tattoos are addictive).........Lord knows i've got to work hard with all the current musicians who all seem to have full sleeves and Hepatitis C..........gotta keep up with the Jonses after all.........

So here's what i'm proposing..........design my next tattoo.......i know at least 2 of my 3 regular readers are graphic artists(I may need your help,Rhi to get the word out if i want more than two entries).......i will wear the winner's entry on my body for the rest of my life........in return, they win a JOE GRAVES AND THE DIRTY LEFT HAND cd,T-shirt,button and sticker.......additionally, they will receive a reserved copy of the next DIRTY LEFT HAND cd scheduled to drop any time now and a reserved copy of the AMERICAN SKIN cd scheduled to drop at the end of this month......that's a helluva prize package.......

Thematically, i'm thinking a Phoenix rising sorta deal.........strictly black work.......approximately 4 by 4 inches to handily fit on my right deltoid..........

Let's see whatcha got friends!...........

Rock it like you want new ink......beg for good art because you aint about to put any old template from the tattoo parlor on your body..........

Stak

R.I.P. CAPTAIN AMERICA............

OYSTER ROAST..........or how my son became the world champion of vomit........

Rock it like you're eatin' em raw.......only try not to gag.........

Stak

CONTINUUM..........the evolution........or a short account of an attack.....

Unable to sleep, i stepped out onto the front deck........i noticed how cool and clear the air was, wishing momentarily for a jacket, but too lazy to go back inside to retrieve it.......i made a quick inventory of my surroundings......the large moths splayed out against the side of the house beneath the porch light........the bat making wide arcs around the utility light in the yard....the emergence of the spiders in the cool march night(around here they nearly envelope the house in silk this time of year)......i have to brush away errant web from my face.....a pair of nightengales calling to each other through the woods........the halo around the moon.........

I lit a cigarette and tried to think.......many things on my mind that were keeping me from sleep.........dangling in front of me and cluttering up the works to ward off my fatigue.......my life was on the edge of great change.......a new job awaited in the wings.........and with it, a great many worries.........a great many things that could go wrong.........i was leaving behind the known and taking on new challenges........i was in no small amount of fear.........and no small amount of excitement..........this all added up to lots of anxious energy............and i could not lie still in bed.....so nicotine was in order.......

I pulled from the cigarette and felt a shiver rise up my spine like a virus......i noticed the air go still..........the nightengales went silent..........i looked up and the bat was no longer dive-bombing insects under the utility light......the moths were gone from beneath the porch lamp............

It was upon me in an instant.........before i realized the full weight of the beast, i was on the way to the floor of the deck,off balance.........it seemed a tornado of fur,fangs and claws.....a violence(as violence can so often seem)so sudden as to defy written description.........the air left my lungs as i hit the deck, the creature(dog,wolf,bear,pyschopath...i dunno) tore at my back.......i was now being savaged........white hot pain shot through my back and i was briefly aware of warm moisture running down my right side as flesh was ripped from my back above my shoulder blade......the growls drove me to panic as consciousness faded away to a pinpoint.........i remember thinking how heavy upon my back the weight of the attacker seemed and how fast it took me down..........it had cleared the railing of the deck without a sound.......and that was a good 16 foot vertical leap.......i thought........."the NBA could use this fucker".........and i was out..........

I awoke covered in the morning damp.....and loads of spiderweb.....my dog Mudd licking my face...........and despite the damage that should've been done to my body, i felt strong and good.........there was dried blood all about.........but all i could think about was going to Waffle House for a bloody steak dinner.........oh, i'd order the eggs to go with it of course...........but i was only gonna eat that steak...............


Rock it like you're posting your drafts.....mistakes be damned..........

Stak

IN KEEPING WITH THE THEME,WE'RE NOW SHAPESHIFTING.......or life in transition if you would........

I'm watching SOPHIA COPPELA'S MARIE ANTIONETTE tonight.........i have enjoyed to this point the juxtaposition of an 18th century period piece with 80's era underground music.....the SIOUXSIE AND THE BANSHEES song HONG KONG GARDEN was especially tasty........

This all bodes well for me...........my past is mashing up with my present in delightful ways............i'm sure with far better outcomes than the be-headed cake eaters/wild eyed gambling pussy loving cocaine aristocrats..............

Here's what i know for sure.............

I've taken a new job............it has infinite possibilities for improvement of the organization as a whole...........it will benefit from my clinical experience.........it needs my desire to have at least one portion of my life organized on a seriously military level.............and it needs me to bring some joi de vivre................i'm bout to bring epic change.............and IT'S GONNA BE FUN!!!............

So let the loonies eat cake!!!!.........for now............because the stability of my expertise is about to bring them a balanced diet of red kool-aid.........we gonna rock on from this point...........with a seismic raise and a whole lotta love for my family...........btw.......HONG KONG GARDEN is based on 4ths thematically.........that's speaking in musical terms,yo............

Rock it like you're at peace.........Look to the swans.......

Stak

BIG HAIRY DREAM........or how i met a werewolf at age 6..........

This is a recollection of the thoughts of my mind at age 6........i cannot attest to the accuracy of said thoughts.........i only know that this freaking weird episode made a big impression on me and that the memory of these events has not left me all the way up until now...........having said that, you are all aware i'm sure how time colors memory.............but i swear that the basic story is true to actual events........details are another matter...........on with the story.......

When i was 6, it might be said that i had a fascination with classic horror films......i spent many weekend nights sitting up with my Grandma Lou(short for Louise) watching SHOCK THEATER or THE NIGHT STALKER...........for me, that shit was the height of entertainment......it moved me...........

One summer night that year i had a dream.........in the dream, i was at school, but it was night outside.......this made some sense to my first grade mind as schools at the time were so over-crowded locally that kids went to school in split shifts.........there were times when i it was getting dark outside when i got off the bus..........but i digress.......the point is i was out of school but out of place in a way(psycho-analyse me later)......i looked out the window and saw a white van.......the back doors opened and a werewolf waved to me........i was not afraid.....he seemed friendly and made me think of my dad

One point you must understand here is that fact that my mom and dad were divorced by now and i saw him on the occasional weekend..........i think i may have missed him alot..........

The werewolf from the white van waved for a bit then got back into the van and drove away............this is where things grow super fucking weird..........

I woke up..........but i wasn't in my own bed........i had sleep walked and was now in the bed with my sister(cool your fucking jets perverts.......6 years old,sickos)....i was a little confused for a moment and freaked out by the dream........as i pondered getting up and going back to my own bed, a very muscled and extremely hairy arm reached across my chest and began to shake me as if to wake me up...........this scared the shit out of me(especially after the dream)........so i played dead...........for a full five minutes the scary,hairy arm(i assume attached to the werewolf)tried to shake me awake..........i did not want to die so i waited it out.............after awhile, the scary,hairy entity left.........i got out of bed and snuck to the window only to see a white van driving away........

Completely freaked out, i ran to my mother's bed and asked whether someone had been out of bed besides me or had tried to wake me from my sister's bed........she said no...........

Years later, i came to live with my father.........at that time,he drove a white Ford Econoline..........

Make of this what you will...........

Stak

STEVE OVER AT THE SNEEZE REALLY OUTDID HIMSELF.........

Consider the cat orgasm............best post by Steve since "Steve,Don't Eat It".........




http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/000627.php


Go......Read.......

Stak

OKAY THIS IS JUST FLAT OUT AMAZING!!!!.........

While this guy states he plays neither the drums nor the piano, clearly he has a pretty good bit of musical intelligence.......i mean he would need it to bed able to put these sounds together into a meaningful musical statement,right?..........and the tune itself is catchy as can be.........i can't imagine how much time it took to edit this all together........





Rock it like an amateur.......with glee and reckless abandon.......

Stak

HAHAHA!........I LIED.........but i hung out with a rock star last night too..........

So i put myself under too much pressure apparently.....because i just don't wanna do what i said i'd do........i don't wanna tell you bout any of the stories i said i'd tell you about........but hey, it's my blog and i'll lie if i want to....lie if i want to......lie if i want to.........

On a different note, i hung out with JASON ISBELL from THE DRIVE BY TRUCKERS last night..........very easy going,approachable cat.......and his southern accent is as thick in his speech as it is when he sings............nice guy...........

Right now i'm watching the remake of CASINO ROYALE............and i'm inclined to think it is the most kick ass bond flick EVER............

Tonight imma rock out with THE DIRTY LEFT HAND...............

I just got a kick ass new job that i wanted badly.............and it comes with a raise the size of Alaska.................unhunh...............I am officially kicking ass and taking names...............go me!!!............go nursing career!!!.........

Rock it like a rock star........live like me...........

Stak

IN THE MEANTIME..........here's a piece....of something,i dunno what........

perhaps a bit pixilated here............some pen and ink stream of consciousness abstract masturbation............

Stak

I PROMISE..........IMMA GET A ROUND TUIT........

OKAY OKAY OKAY!!!!...........i have reports forthcoming.........and some good stories..........but first i gotta get past Augusta's best empty excuse to get blind running drunk...........unfortunately, i'm required to entertain on this occasion........so i don't get to be as dumbass retarded drunk as everyone else in the city..........i am however excited by the fact that AMERICAN SKIN is required to play some irish drinking songs Saturday night.......so we're covering "Kiss me I'm shit-faced"............can't beat it with a blarney stone..........

My recollections of one incredible show at THE SOUL BAR(last sat. night) and our celebration of my betrothal(is that a word?) to Trixie.......and our vertigo filled trip to the mountains...........and maybe my early childhood werewolf encounter for Rhi............i got those on tap, I SWEAR IT!!...........but i've been too busy to write lately............so i'll catch you all up in short order...........hold on to your panties,Rhi.............

Rock it like you are either busy or the world's greatest procastinator.........put that shit off!!!!..........go get yourselves a taco in the meantime............

Stak

THE ON DECK CIRCLE...........or quite simply, the previews.........

So i'm about to go away from computers and people other than my wife and blogitis and all that implies...........so i thought i'd list for you what's on my plate upon my return from vacation..........

1. a quick run-down of the big redneck party at the lake..........hopefully with incriminating photos of various public figures.......

2. a report from R&R land....or me bragging about how much better my week was than yours........

3. the possible childhood werewolf encounter encased in a dream trilogy.........

4. a report of the big JOE GRAVES AND THE DIRTY LEFT HAND show at THE SOUL BAR next weekend........

5. the story of my journey into Normaltown........or "Deliverance on a Big Ass Biscuit" if you will........

Rock your coming week like you were me............you know you wish you were,puddin'.....

Stak

LOUIE LOUIE..........OH OH........WE GOTTA GO!!!!........

i'm going on vacation...............i need a break..........not a bathroom break.......a REAL break.......imma sit in a hot tub in the mountains........imma sit in a sauna..........imma watch satellite TV whilst pleasantly sedated by adult beverages............imma do "It" about 3 times a day........this MUST happen..........but first, imma have a great big redneck party.......see you all on the other side.................

Rock it like you're going on vacation...........feel the tension drifting away...........


Stak

to quote Wilco........OKAY ALRIGHT OKAY ALRIGHT!!!..........

This is what my sunday evenings have been looking like lately..........and i curse the fucker that invented the mexican restaraunt........on sundays in the bible belt, they are one of the few places one can go to drink a beer.........here's the catch........the best deals on beer are 32oz mugs........after a few of those, the food is a complete afterthought.........the next time i have to crab-walk out of Teresa's, i'm swearing those places off forever.......anyhow........i got tagged by Rhi and i've been putting off responding, because i just don't like blog devices....to me they're like painting by numbers.........but i'll give Rhi the benefit of the doubt.........but i refuse to tag anyone else.........

1. Height?
I'm 5'6".......and there are those who say i have a Napolean complex.....frankly, i think i could beat Napolean to a bloody pulp then whiz all over his mangled body.......you know what?......those assholes who say i have a Napolean complex might be onto something.........

2. Have you ever smoked heroin?
What kind of fucked up question is that?........who thought up this frigging meme?..........and why would they expect an honest answer to this question?........oh yeah imma talk about my prodigious drug use so my momma can read all about it.......ooops......cough cough........nothing to see here......move along....

3. Do you own a gun?
Hell yes.........i live in Edgefield County,South Carolina......cept here we call em loaded burglar alarms.......and if you come in my house uninvited in the middle of the night, imma make multiple holes in you with my 30/30..........

4. Who would you let eat crackers in your bed?
Nobody eats in my bed but me.........did i say that?.......am i drunk again?......

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
No........i avoid doctors like the plague........and me an RN..........

6. What do you think of hot dogs?
to the tune of "Do Me Baby" by BELL BIV DEVOE.......i can eat em in the morning, i can eat em in the night........i aint scared.........

7. What’s your favorite Christmas song?
12 Bands of Christmas has really grown my appreciation for Christmas music.....my favorite.........probably "The Emmett Otter's Jugband Christmas Medley" by THE HELLBLINKI SEXTET........i enjoyed working on that project.......

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Whiskey........straight........no chaser........

10. Is your bathroom clean?
Imma a musician......my wife is a musician......what do you think?......

9. Can you do push ups?
I can probably do about 50 in one go........i like to think the drumming keeps my upper body in shape........and the 12oz curls i do so often have to help as well......

11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry?
I have a necklace beaded with tiny fired clay skulls that i bought from an artisan at Arts in The Heart several years ago.......

12. Do you like painkillers?
They make me pukey.........

13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
It's no secret......imma a musician......

14. Do you have A.D.D.?
To the hilt!........

15. What’s your name?
Stak........another stupid question.........

16. Middle Name?
Cheese and Crackers who cares?!?!.....

17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
i hate memes.........can't wait for the party this weekend........can't wait to go on vacation........

18. Name the last 3 things you bought:
Supplies for the party(lots and lots of beer)
A pair of Doc Martens
a meal at Teresas


19. Who is your favorite visual artist?
I like Jason Engle and Brom......

20. You're stuck on an deserted island with two other people, who would you want to be stranded with?
my wife and Patterson Hood from THE DRIVE TRUCKERS........we could entertain ourselves by starting a band.........

21. You've won a major award and have thanked your family, who else would you thank?
you know the standards......Jesus Christ who gave me the talent and strength to overcome.......all my fans and e'rybody what bought my new joint......my posse.......and all dem muthafuckas in the AUG.........keep ya head up,ya heard.........WORD!!!.......

22. Current worry?
What?........me worry?.........

23. Current hate?
i hate haters.........dey always be sippin on the haterade, trying to crush my groove..........damn, when did i turn gangsta?......

24. Favorite place to be?
Close to my friends and family......otherwise i woulda left this town in my dust decades ago.........

25. How did you bring in the New year?
Well........Trixie's head hit the pillow around 10pm.........so my New Year's Eve was a non-event in the most true sense of the term.........

26. Where would you like to go?
I have always wanted to visit Spain........i dig that country's outlook on life......siesta in the middle of the day.....light supper after work.......off to the club............i especially dig the nap in the middle of the day part......

27. Do you own slippers?
Naw..........but i got two pairs of flip flops...........

28. What shirt are you wearing?
Plain white T-shirt........

29. Do you burn or tan?
Burn..........and who cares?........fucking retarded memes........

30. Favorite color(s)?
Green and black........black where clothing is concerned......

31. Would you be a pirate?
I played drums for THE HELLBLINKI SEXTET for about 3 years.........i AM a pirate.........now gimme your booty!!......

32. Are you gay?
Nope.......but this question is......

33. What songs do you sing in the shower?
I don't usually sing in the shower......but i'm a rock star in my truck.......

34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
Werewolves..........i'll have to tell the whole story at a later date, but i had what my 7 year old mind believed was an encounter with a werewolf.......these days i have nighmares about squirrels.......God i hate squirrels.......

35. What’s in your pockets right now?
Lint..........

36. Where are you?
Off somewhere in my mind where i don't have to answer this stupid question......

37. Best bed sheets as a child?
The ones that said "Fuck memes" over and over again.........

38. Worst injury you’ve ever had?
As a toddler, my right leg caught on fire climbing up on the counter to get Flintstones vitamins in the middle of the night........i accidently started the stove top eye with my foot or something.........full thickness burn.........i still have a pretty significant scar........

39. You're on a trip around the world and have to select five landmarks to visit, what would you pick?
The Great Barrier Reef
The Amazon River(for fishing)
Your Momma's house
Bourbon Street.....went once pre-Katrina....great trip...
That's all i got.........

40. How many TVs do you have in your house?
One
41. Who is your loudest friend?
Probably my cousin Scott........after a few cocktails......

42. Who is your quietest friend?
No idea..........i don't roll with low talkers......

43. Does someone have a crush on you?
?

44. Do u wish on shooting stars?
Yes i do............

45. What is your favorite book?
Anything by Christopher Moore..........that guy has consistently kicked my ass since i started reading his books.......

46. What is your favorite candy?
Toblerone.......no contest......

47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding?
We Won't Get Fooled Again by THE WHO.......

48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
A recording i performed on maybe.........i don't know......

49. What were you doing at 12AM last night?
Running my wife out of the bed with my snoring........

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
Oh shit!..........

There!!!!..........i did the stupid meme...........more posts to come on the big redneck party coming up this weekend...........

Rock it like a rapper........give those haters what for.........

Stak

STATUS UPDATICUS MACH TRES...........or how i'm avoiding responding to being tagged by Rhi........

Did i mention that i hate memes?...........anyway.........big brewins on the horizon here in Stakdilyicious land..........here at Mission HQ, we are immersed in plans for a big shindig honoring the fact that Trixie and I are married and haven't done anything to celebrate that fact yet............well, celebrate we will.........we're gonna have this huge,ridiculous,redneck party at our boating club up at Clarks Hill Lake(locals wouldn't be caught dead referring to it by the name Strom Thurmond Lake).....we hired a TREMENDOUS band by the name LOCH NESS JOHNNY from Columbia,SC.....they play that lovely hillbilly/celtic/folk/punk blend of music that gets everyone in the whole world dancing(except TUPAC fans....they don't dance, they just wave their gats from side to side while smoking a blunt)....on the food front, we're laying down a Low Country Boil(don't skimp on the crablegs......everybody loves those)..........and of course there will be ridiculous amounts of intoxicating beverages..........hence, there will be ridiculously enebriated people to make fun of.........it's gonna rock,good fashion.............wanna come?........sure you do......and you might...........did i say that?..........let me know.........

After that silly event, Trixie and i are off to the mountains to do absolutely nothing in a huge log cabin with a pool table,hot tub and satellite TV..........

Then we're gonna come back to Augusta to play a show at THE SOUL BAR(Sat. March 10th) with DISTAL and THE EMOTRON..........THE EMOTRON might set his junk on fire.......that's how his shows usually end anyhow..........

Rock it like you're a blacksmith........keep those irons in the fire............

Stak

BURN BABY BURN!!!.........or my interview with BRN BRN who's not a disco inferno......

So it's not often one has a world traveler in their livingroom..........tonight, i have just that........allow me to introduce Mr. Brian Smith......affectionately known as BRN BRN to his friends..........aside from being a charming boy, he's also a learned man who lives in a log cabin in South Cakkalacky, enjoying the benefits of exceptionally good taste in beer,music,the universe and everything........i just HAD to get this guy on record for all the world to see what a gift and curse retarded genius entails..........here's da intaview..........

S: You've travelled the world........which part has the shittiest food?

B: I'd say the worst is in some of the remoter areas here in the US. Nebraska and Iowa wore pretty thin. Gas stations and fast food places with no other choices to speak of. Too many gas station ham sandwiches. A whopper gets to be a treat after a while. buh.


S: Have you ever actually turned down a dish involving,say, penis of some kind?

B: Funny you mention that... I was on a trip in China and a bunch of us were eating at some Chinese restaurant, and the locals ordered a bunch of stuff, and there was this glass lazy susan where we spun all the food around for people to pick stuff off of. I ate some bacon looking stuff that wasn't too bad, and Mr. Wong perked up and asked "Oh, you like that?" I told him it wasn't too bad, and he says "Oh! That part of camel!" From that point on my friend Patricio kept trying to convice me that I'd eaten camel dick.

S: What do you think of the current state of affairs in the Augusta music scene?.........

B: There's so much that goes on that I never see. I don't get out so much. But I have seen some realy good shows here. There's a lot of groups that stick around here that I like.

S: Who's your favorite Augusta musician?..........Which Augusta band rocks the mostest?.........

B: The Philip Experience. 'My Baby's On Crack' and "I'm Gonna F You Up the A' are total crowd pleasers.

S: What movie would you say is best to share with a guest......unexpected or otherwise?.........

B: I'll get nailed for this form folks that know me, but I'd say Escanaba In Da Moonlight. Probabbly Jeff Daniels' best work. Quirky as hell but honest. A good gauge for what folks find funny or profound.

S: What's your idea of the perfect evening?........Does it involve sex?........Does it involve alcohol?........Does it involve music?.......do tell,whore........

B: First-date sex with my future ex-wife after a bonfire. With calypso music playing in the background. On absinthe.

S: Finally, give us your desert island list of must haves, music and otherwise......

B: James McMurtry, Voivod, Drum tobacco, Maker's Mark, Samuel Adams Oatmeal Stout, a magnifying glass, Scarlett Johansenn would be nice.

Unhunh!!!!!!............God bless his bursitis ridden elbow.............

Rock it like you got a genius passed out dead drunk on your couch tonight........fart on him while he's unconscious............

Stak

INVOKING THE MUSE........or the 4 beer buzz interview with Trixieipecac..........

What better to do on a Friday night whilst toting a mild buzz than interviewing the person you love the most in the world......so without further adieu........HEEEEERRRREEE'S TRIXIE!!!..........

S: So chica, what do your guts love the mostest?

T: besides your guts? fun, things that lead up to & have to do with fun. most of them can be found in a bar, like music, beer, pool, darts, & silly people. of course the most impotant thing you can't find in a bar: the little boy, the prettiest thing without teeth. P.S. the folks I refer to as the York St Crew, to name a few: Brian Smith, Furman Fowler, Philip Baldy, Patrick Arnold, George Morris, Amy Lane.

S: What's going on with your musical budding music career these days?

T: its getting better all the time, we're playing shows more often, the soonest one being march 10 at THE SOUL BAR, I have a couple of new songs in my back pocket that I can't wait to get started on. I'm also looking forward to working with Henry Wynn III(the newest member of JOE GRAVES AND THE DIRTY LEFT HAND). I'm sure he'll bring some excellent flavor to the group.

S: Who's rocking your mp3 player lately?

T: shuffle. I listened to the first straight through album today on it(a self titled record by an artist called Spot). He was one of or at least hung out with the crew that started SST. I saw him play with Mike Watt in 2001 then later found the record in Athens for $.99. I didn't like it at first then later fell in love with it, I get cravings for it from time to time.

S: Who makes you laugh like a hyaena huffing whip-its?

T: a cat(dude, whatever) named Patrick Arnold. a member of the York St crew, he likes to crack you up when you happen to be eating or drinking something, sometimes I think he's trying to kill me.

S: Which local band excites you the most currently?

T: Our band. Its the only one I get to see on a regular basis, plus I just like it the best. That's the great thing about making music, it fits your taste perfectly.

S: Who would you most like to share the stage with?

T: realistically or fantasically? r: HELLO LEFTY or maybe THE DECREPITS. f: THE BREEDERS or SONIC YOUTH.

S: Tell us about your favorite author?

T: right now I guess my favorite author is CHRISTOPHER MOORE. I've got a favorite that's only put out 3 books that I know of: PC Hodgell, but there's not much to tell there. Christopher Moore is just one of the funniest guys to tell stories about the supernatural, freaks, & general weirdness. He's taken the ball of yarn from Douglas Adams, Tom Robbins, Terry Pratchett & improved upon it. Great imagination & hip to the current crap to be hip to.

S: How is motherhood treating you thus far?

T: its easier than I thought it would be. I think it has something to do with the baby.

S: Is that boy really a "stink-bug" or is he just stinky?

T: well he's only got 2 legs so technically "bug" is just an affectionate second syllable to stink. Yes he does stink, but only for as long as I let him sit in his own feces. Which for the record is not long, I usually put him in his changing spot as soon as I hear the tell-tale pooping grunts, & let him finish up business & then I get that shit out of there ASAP!

S: You were nominated for favorite bassist and favorite local female at the recent LOKAL LOUDNESS CHOICE MUSIC AWARDS.........were you disappointed that you didn't win?

T: not so much, I was amazed I was even nominated in the 1st year that I've been playing. Other than being a barfly I didn't really know anyone knew who I was, I can thank Steven Uhles for including me in his "Women Who Rock" article. I was a little relieved that I didn't have to make a speech.

S: I've heard alot of folks say how much fun that evening is each year. What moment of this year's show was the most memorable to you?

T: When Stoney's wife & daughter professed their love for me in the bathroom, after they figured out who I was.

S: You were accused of being a chick who "rocks" by several people that night. What do you think that means?

T: "chick" meaning I have na-na instead of a pee-pee, & "rocks" meaning I got up on stage & played the bass the way they liked to hear it, & maybe they were a little drunk & so was I. I had great fun & was happy to see other people enjoying it too.

S: Finally, how do you see your life playing out, both in public and private life, over the coming year?

T: Honeybun, I can't see into the future, I'm just enjoying how great things are now. I tend to worry over silly stuff when I think of what might happen, so if I stay in the present I can't over-think my next move.

S: Thanks for giving me your time this evening,baby.........want another beer? maybe watch a movie?.........do it maybe?

T:tee-hee-hee!



Rock it like you're Bawbwa Wawtahs.........except without all thay crying foolishness....

Stak

OH AND I ALMOST FORGOT.......HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.......

PHOTO BLOG..........awards show pics courtesy of RHI.......

WELL HERE YA GO,THEN...........i'm like GW........

Because i won...............tons of folks bitch about the results of the LOKAL LOUDNESS CHOICE AWARDS....."it's a travesty that so and so didn't even get nominated"........."i voted for so and so at least a thousand times"...........WELL FUCK YOU TWICE WITHOUT LUBE,YO...............there were implications that the whole thing was rigged.........there were questions about the vote count.........people pissed and moaned that their FAVORITES were not even nominated...........i can't speak one way or another about that.........the voting process was IP autenticated......and while some hacks complained that there easy ways around that, i for one don't have the time, know how or inclination to fool with that mess.........i just don't care enough...........the honors are great......but i like to come by em honest.............that's why it was extremely redemptive when AMERICAN SKIN mowed over the highest voted act on our way to the AUGUSTA CHRONICLE SINGER-SONGWRITER championship...........that's saying something for a straight rock band rough around the edges..........

The local radio station took pains to report that AMERICAN SKIN was beat out for Favorite Local Band by THE EDISON PROJECT...........except they reported it as "Best Local Band"..............don't get me wrong........THE EDISON PROJECT straight up ripped shit up last night........they're an incredible live experience.......they've got the energy...........they're electric.......if i had one criticism, it would be the fact that(as the A&R reps are so fond of saying) I don't hear a hook.........HOWEVER............if the hosts of the local/regional radio hour felt compelled to mention us as being one upped by THE EDISON PROJECT, then AMERICAN SKIN must be doing something right............

So here's the breakdown...........


I got my props for favorite drummer..........truthfully, the other nominees are scary good............but the fact that this contest is based on favorites, it could be assumed that the winner has served the song the best in a percussion sense throughout the year........least i'd like to think so.........

AMERICAN SKIN won for favorite song with TOBE HOOPER.......that's the second time this song has gotten us recognition..........that's encouraging considering our songwriting has matured lightyears past this tune in the past year........

AMERICAN SKIN won for favorite new local band.........gee, why wasn't NOEL BROWN nominated in this category(inside joke.....really)........go figure.........

I'll take it.......and to those who complained about the results this year......GET THE VOTE OUT NEXT TIME............there were over 10,000 ballots cast this year.......that old internet is a big old world.........don't be a sore ass LOSER.........you didn't hear me bitch when i got beat out for favorite drummer last year,did you?.............i just took that shit as motivation and got to work making music in two bands...........imma keep working until i can no longer pick up a stick.....i love the creative process involved in playing original music......and imma keep helping to bring that big rock hook............haters be damned.......

Rock it like you won it.......because you did..........and don't give a damn about silly critics who complain because they have bruised egos..........they'd be bitching anyway..........

Stak

GET YOUR ROCK ON............or some music you might appreciate.........

Have a good weekend folks............imma rock out with my junk out.........

Stak

MIGHTY POWERFUL..............beauty in sadness.........

I don't buy as many new cd's by current artists anymore..........alot of what's being released these days sounds so repetitive and bland to me........i like the new stuff by SPARTA.........and i recently picked up a good record by a band called BRAND NEW..........but for the most part, i despise the nu metal crap on rock radio......and the stuff the kids are doing these days bewilders me(i must be getting old)......i mean, i have zero tolerance for some 115 lb twit screaming his lungs out over incessantly re-hashed pop-punk guitar riffs.....all while wearing his girlfriends jeans,a white belt,a t-shirt 3 sizes too small and eyeliner.......

Above is a pop-punk band that found the next level...........MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE has released a thing of beauty........channeling QUEEN they have realized one helluva concept album in THE BLACK PARADE.......the vocal melodies alone are worth the price of admission.........this record is smart.......very smart........and i highly recommend it........

I've heard tell that their original fanbase has been complaining that the band has abandoned them........idiots.........i know that for me, the music on this record has helped me get past some of my prejudices..........eyeliner's okay i guess....just rock the fuck out..............

enjoy the vid.............i think the song is just gorgeous........


Rock it like those MCR boys........haters be damned........

Stak

BRAGGING RIGHTS.............who's gonna get em this weekend?...........

Above are my two bands................top photo is JOE GRAVES AND THE DIRTY LEFT HAND............the other is AMERICAN SKIN..............both bands and certain personnel in them got nominated for numerous awards..............you see, here in Augusta, there is an online zine devoted to local music called LOKAL LOUDNESS............at the end of each year they open up voting for two months to select favorites in various categories................then in february they have a big show and pass out awards to all the winners.........it's great fun..........for some reason, when all the local musicians gather in one place, the vibe is just capital...........great feeling of comraderie.............the fact of the matter is we rarely get to see each other because all always off playing somewhere...........so it's nice to hang for a bit.............

At any rate, these are the categories in which we have a vested interest................

Favorite Drummer:ME

Favorite Bassist:my wife Tracy(DIRTY LEFT HAND)

Favorite Vocalist:Brian Panowich(AMERICAN SKIN)

Favorite Local Female:Tracy

Favorite New Band:AMERICAN SKIN and THE DIRTY LEFT HAND

Favorite Band:AMERICAN SKIN

Favorite Song:AMERICAN SKIN for TOBE HOOPER.........DLH for SAME OLD FABLE

Favorite CD:DLH for SAME OLD FOIBLES

The LOKAL LOUDNESS CHOICE AWARDS SHOW is this saturday night(2/10) at the back bar of 1102 DOWNTOWN...........it starts at 8pm..........both of my bands are playing the event along with other nominees............THE LIVINGROOM LEGENDS, THE JOSH PIERCE GROUP,ALLISON FOSTER, HELLO LEFTY and THE EDISON PROJECT............the doors open at 8pm..........

Judging by the list of nominations we racked up,we must have done something right this past year............it's been fun..............i hope we get a trophy or two........

Rock it like it's the Academy Awards and they really,really like you........thank 500 people in your acceptance speech............

Stak

DAMMIT!!!................i wanted to see Peyton cry.........

i was rooting for Chi-town tonight.............

Stak

POKER APOCALYPSE........or how i rode hard over papier mache'........

Be forewarned................as if the title and the image weren't warning enough, this post is about poker...........it's a game i love and indulge in from time to time........so i gotta talk about it occasionally.......

I got invited to a poker tournament with an inexpensive buy in last night by the guitar player in my band..........it was a nervous proposition for me because i haven't played a live game in over a year...........i do keep my game sharp with several hours of online play each week.........but still, i was nervous........i mean no live play in a long time in a room full of unknown quantities.......i had no idea how well these guys played.........

My anxiety was relieved a bit when they had trouble figuring out how to work the blinds.........and even further relieved when the first dealer had to ask whether or not he was supposed to burn the first card before the flop.............

I had decided to be patient and observe the play style of the other guys at the table......which through two hands was a very passive "let's see who got the best cards" sort of approach.......and that is NOT the way to play no limit hold em unless you really enjoy giving your money away.......

On the third hand of the night, i peeked down and spied king-queen suited..........so the patient approach went out the window, it was time to boogie.........so i led out big after the blinds merely limped in to my right............each called and we were three handed going to the flop.........wonder of wonders, the flop came out queen-x-queen.........i smiled inside and raised when it was my turn to act.........my raise went unrespected to my joy............by the time we hit the river, there was a possible straight and a possible flush on the board and this made me nervous because the two guys on my right were tenaciously hanging onto this hand..........it was a HUGE pot.......but i would've been crippled if i folded.........on the final bet, the small blind made an announcement that made me giddy.........."if you've got trips, i'm gonna hate myself.....it'll be a short night for me"............are you kidding me.......trips is a good hand(shit i wasn't laying it down), but that should've been the least of his worries.........if he could'nt beat trips, he had no business being in the hand.................so he went all in...............he had me covered plus ten bucks..........to my surprise the big blind called as well............i pushed too...............

I never saw the small blind's hand, but he was crippled with only ten chips and out the very next hand..........the big blind also had trip queens, but i had him beat with the king kicker...........so after tripling up in the third hand, i bobbed and weaved for the rest of the evening picked hands to put folks to decisions for all of their chips...........one by one they fell......and no one came close to my chip lead............in other words, i was an absolute nightmare at the poker table last night.........i won the tournament without breaking a sweat and quadrupled my money.........

I hope they invite me back.......

Rock it like you've got pocket rockets............take ALL the money.........

IMMA PICK A FIGHT...................

This is a local interest argument...............so you can ignore this post if you're not from Augusta or the surrounding area.............local folks, please read my post on THE SOUL BAR MESSAGE BOARD regarding THE JAMES BROWN MUSIC FESTIVAL................i'll provide you with a link.......

http://www.soulbarmessages.com/board/viewtopic.php?t=1871


Rock it in a fashion that honors The Godfather............don't wank up a festival that's supposed to honor him..........

Stak

THE BEAST WITHIN.........or Christ my job gets weird sometimes.......

I work in a mental health clinic..........i may have mentioned that previously or not........working in a mental health seems to affect my memory.........well, either that or the herculean amounts of beer i consume...........anyway, it's a children's clinic..........most of the kids i see are simple cases of ADHD........a small percentage have more serious problems........and an even smaller percentage think that all the other kids in their neighborhood can hear their thoughts and know the size of their poops............but those are the psychotic kids, and you can't make light of their problems in good conscience................some monsters are MADE(and they LIKE IT!!!)............the ones with borderline personality traits...........you meet one of these, you won't forget it..........histrionic,attention-seeking,whorish,manipulative, and completely self-centered, they are either extremely amusing to be around........or an utter pain in the ass............they are not happy unless they are the middle of swirling cloud of over-hyped drama...........

But you wanna know who's really out of their collective tree?..............their parents............some of the more weird kids definitely come by it honest............these gooney bird parents have molded their kids with their lunacy...............

Case in point.....................i have a nutty borderline parent who married a guy more than half her age.........this guy is some kind of goth-geek mixture..........black trench coat,molester mustache,spiked mullet,pizza face,beady eyes,black cowboy boots,bondage pants.........you get the picture..............at any rate, i recently had this crazy lady tell me the following....and i quote...........

"My husband has this disorder that causes him to go into fits of rage....and when he's in one of his rages he claws at people and growls and barks like a dog..........and another thing, when he's in one of his rages he craves blood".................she said it to me with a straight face..............and i struggled mightily to maintain a straight face...........apparently, this couple enjoys vampire porn in their intimate moments...............where does one find vampire porn?..........for pete's sake, i didn't know such a thing existed.........

Rock it like you've got some sense..............don't suck................

Stak

CHASTISED LIKE CHILDREN.......or why certain people should go fuck themselves.......

Good night, that pic makes me look like i weigh 300 lbs..........but it's from the show we played friday night........does it look like i'm disgusted there?..........i probably was just that...........you see that particular establishment has an owner who gets high on his own supply.........a very arrogant,opinionated Brit is one thing...........a shit-faced drunk Brit who is arrogant and opinionated is nearly intolerable.........in other words, this guy is a prick(i'll refrain from naming him here, we'll just stick with prick).........

You see, this joint is particularly small.........we made adjustments and played a lot quieter than we normally do........and unfortunately, the turnout was sparse(happens to bands much better than us all the time).......prick probably would've loved us had his bar been full........as it was, he proceeded to complain extremely loudly that the band was too loud.......even stopping us at one point and berating the singer like he was a child.........FUCK THAT GUY!!!!!!..........DOUBLE FUCK THAT GUY!!!.........

Our response was to play so quiet that we could barely be heard until PRICK left......then we cranked back up to normal volume again and played everything over again at the correct volume........but everyone in the band was pretty demoralized by the whole experience..........so that sucks..........but we don't really have time to continue fretting about it...........so imma leave it all here............

Besides, we gotta go collect some awards at THE LOKAL LOUDNESS READERS CHOICE AWARDS on Feb. 10th.........imma walk outta that thing with an armfull those cool plexiglass trophies..............

Rock like you're not an asshole drunk british poopyhead.........turn that shit up!!!.........

Stak

CUTE INFINITY..........or Damn i make pretty babies.....

Rock it like a proud poppa.........love your babies to pieces........

Stak

SNAKE.......................BIT............

SO YEAH, IMMA MUSICIAN.....................

And i'm kinda proud of some recent live recordings i've done with my band AMERICAN SKIN..........i'd like you to take a listen................i'm particularly proud of a newer tune we recorded called "Hotels and Angels"............i'm fond of the lyrics........."She said she was from Hartwell...She said she was an angel......I can't pronounce her name".........


link

A GUILTY PLEASURE.........at the expense of exactly whom?....

Now i must admit that i passively enjoy AMERICAN IDOL from time to time.....not necessarily for the drama......i enjoy some of the performances.......the competition is meaningless when popularity what's being contested........but that's another rant.......the point here is simply that i find myself watching the show occasionally(i don't watch much television at all).......it is a guilty pleasure for me.........

The other night i saw the Seattle tryouts for the new season.......they continually bemoaned the lack of talent in that town as they sat through an endless parade of horrible auditions........but something struck me as i watched........this had not occurred to me before, but as my mind drifted into mental health professional mode, i saw it for the first time.........

I saw no less than 5 of those terrible performances that they like to feature on the tryout shows(obviously to make many people and the judges feel better about themselves)in which the hopeful applicant had an obvious developmental disorder.....it was plain to see that most of those about 4 of those 5 had Asperger's Syndrome which is a high functioning form of Autism......which would limit their insight and make them less than objective about their own level of "talent"........one guy i saw was very obviously mildly retarded......WITH A SPEECH IMPEDIMENT TO BOOT!!!!...........and yes, their auditions were an extremely painful experience....

In the back of my mind i could hear millions upon millions howling with laughter,bathed in the blue light of the television,choking on their TV dinners and Hotpockets......each one feeling smug and superior........

But there's this.....is it really cool to make fun of people who are retarded.....or have any other mental illnesses or developmental disabilities?.......Simon Cowell does a fine job of displaying the fact that he is the master of the put down......and seems to take pride in being merciless......but do people with disabilties really deserve that?.......they don't have a clue.......it seems a simple "NO" would suffice........but laughing at people in their face when they clearly don't have a clue?......is that a good thing?..........

And is it really cool of AMERICAN IDOL to trot out the freakshow for the sake of ratings?..........NO, IT'S NOT FUCKING COOL.........and it's damned irresponsible too.........

As the episode went on......my amusement began to turn to disgust.......it's hard not to laugh, but when you realize who paid the price to get you laughing, the shit isn't funny anymore.........

To be fair, the judges showed great tact with the retarded kid.......but his disability was obvious......the kids with Asperger's were not so obvious......and the judges showed their ignorance where those kids were concerned.......

But where were these kids' families in all this?.....your family is supposed to protect you from making an ass of yourself on national television when you're not all the way together upstairs............unless they ALL live in group homes.....and who told these kids they could sing?......

That's all i got to say abut that.....

Rock it like you've got some class......don't make fun of the retarded kids......

Stak

OKAY SO IT'S MY BIRTHDAY..............

WHICH MEANS I MUST TYPE THIS ENTRY IN AALLLLL CAAPPPSSS.......BECAUSE I LOVE YOU ALL SOOOOOOOOO MUCCHHH UMMMMMGERRRRRRR.......no which means i must be hammered,right?........NO you fuckers..........IT JUST MEANS I'M OLD..........errrrr.........that's my great good friend Henry Wynn THE THIRD i'm loving on in that photo..........he's a remarkable fellow.......you should know him.........Goodnight ot y ou all nad pappy firfpay ooo meeee......YAY!.........

Rock it like you're trying to omit murder..........

Stak

EVIDENCE...................

I'M GONNA BE AN INTERNET STAR.......or a porn star, i'm not sure which....

So i got interviewed yesterday........it was fun........it has dawned on me that i'm a total pervert.....and you know what?.......i can live with that.....to observe, slide on over to Rhian's blog and read on.......and Rhian, thanks for allowing me to smut up your page a lil bit.........it was an honor....now get some toilet paper and wipe that stuff up........

if for some reason, the link does not show up below or doesn't work, there is a link to Rhian's blog over to the right where all the other linky things be.......








Rock it like you're trying to commit murder......

Stak

CUTE OVERLOAD.............

What a big baby..........

Stak

I TOOK IT TO THE HOUSE.....STATUS UPDATICUS-VERSION 2.0

Okay, so i know i've not been very active here lately.....but dammit, i've been busy living life(so i can get new material for my blog?)......see that poster above?....Jimmy Danger does good design work doesn't he.......at any rate, that poster is one sign that i'm starting to get very busy with music here lately.....THE DIRTY LEFT HAND has shows lining up and so does AMERICAN SKIN......i have to be careful booking these things....i can't be in two places at one time.....hopefully the next show at THE HIGHLANDER will go a little better than the last......that means keeping the band no more than half drunk by hit time......we have to be in "the beer window" as it were......

Fantasy Football Update-I WON!!!! I WON!!!!.....I WON!!!!....I STRAIGHT OWNED THOSE BITCHES!!!! NYAH NYAH NYAH!!!!.....ahem.....i pick up my bobble-head trophy at THE LOKAL LOUDNESS CHOICE AWARDS next month...........speaking of THE CHOICE AWARDS.....both of my bands received multiple nominations....also i was nominated for Favorite Local Drummer.....Trixie was nominated for Favorite Local Bass Player.....that's really nice and we're all quite honored.......here, i'll post all the nominees for my hometown readers(i think there might be one or two).....

FAVE LOKAL BAND
American Skin
Blue Collar Blue Heart
Edison Project
Hello Lefty
Veara

FAVE LOKAL NEW BAND
American Skin
Common Life
Joe Graves & the Dirty Left Hand
Paraphenalia
The Mood

FAVE LOKAL ALL-AGES BAND
Hello Lefty
Rough Sketch
Sick Sick Sick
The Mood
Veara

FAVE LOKAL SOLO ARTIST
Dana Andrews
Allison Foster
Shaun Piazza
Josh Pierce
Will McCranie

FAVE LOKAL FEMALE
Dana Andrews
Eryn Eubanks
Allison Foster
Tracy Steele
Mindy Stephens

FAVE LOKAL MALE
Al Beasley
Travis Petrea
Josh Pierce
Coco Rubio
Billy S

FAVE LOKAL GUITARIST
Marcus Barfield
John Bennett
John Berret
Vaughn Holmes
Jason Sabo

FAVE LOKAL BASSIST
Al Beasley
Jason Guy
Travis Petrea
Tracy Steele
Mindy Stephens

FAVE LOKAL DRUMMER
Brian Allen
Mike Brower
Britanny Harrell
Zach Swenson
Adam Tolar

FAVE LOKAL VOCALIST
Dana Andrews
Pete Cumiskey
Bryan Panowich
Josh Pierce
Dave Firmin

FAVE LOKAL MISC. INSTRUMENT
Eryn Eubanks
Dave Mercer
Adam Mizell
Scott Terry
Henry Wynn, Jr.

FAVE LOKAL SONG
American Skin - Tobe Hooper
Edison Project - Don't Be So Indignant
Hello Lefty - Falsehood
Joe Graves & the Dirty Left Hand - Same Old Fable
The Mood - Sumthin New

FAVE LOKAL CD
American Skin - American Skin
Joe Graves & the Dirty Left Hand - Same Old Foibles
Shaun Piazza - Over and Over
Josh Pierce - live
Veara - forget the everything


On the baby front, Aidan is fucking HUGE........over 20lbs now.....he's developing a very sweet nature and we get tons of smiles and giggles every day....when he's not eating that is........he has also discovered this high pitched squeal that could break glass were it a few decibels louder.....and it just cracks him up......

When that baby smiles at me, i turn to dust........i wanna start crying like the Holly Hunter character in RAISING ARIZONA(one of my favorites all-time)when they first steal the baby.....*bawling* "i love him so much...i love him so much"......

That's about all for now.....talk to me...i love your comments.....and i'll try to get around to commenting on you guys' stuff as well......

Rock it like you're trying to commit murder.....

Stak

IMMA "GRIZZLED VET".................

Here are two Augusta acts worth watching
Pop Rocks
By Steven Uhles| Columnist
Friday, January 05, 2007 Perhaps there's something in the water, or maybe there's something about the semi-sultry climate that encourages and engenders musical expression. Whatever the reason, Augusta has always been, and continues to be, a musical city.

Each January, I try to predict and pay tribute to local bands I feel will be making their bones in the coming months. Sometimes I hit - last year I hyped the Edison Project, which has become an established Augusta favorite and seems poised for a big break (more on that at a later date).

Other times I miss. A couple of years ago, I was full of Pedestrian love, a band that dissolved shortly after I offered my endorsement. I'm sure the two events were unrelated.

Still, I'd like to offer up a couple of acts I feel certain will be worthy of watching in '07.

Veara, currently recording in beautiful Brooklyn, N.Y., plays a sort of serious post-punk that flirts with some of the tones and textures of emo but wisely never commits the sins often associated with that particularly dour brand of bluster. Anchored by an assured rhythm section and featuring soaring vocals and angular guitar and key work, the Veara sound is reminiscent of the more personal moments or stadium-ready rock. Check this very young band out before it inevitably flees the scene.

Less likely to make a break from Augusta are Joe Graves and the Dirty Left Hand. Largely composed of grizzled (I use that term in the most affectionate possible way) vets, the Left Hand features one-half of the legendary Neato Torpedo and guitarist Furman Fowler from the punk rock purist band Sick Sick Sick. Sonically, the band resurrects a rough-hewn style of indie rock not heard or, more important with a stage-savvy band such as the Hand, seen since the days before Pavement and Guided By Voices discovered production value.

Smart without being smug and fun without ever becoming a novelty act, the Dirty Left Hand embodies the spirit of bar band rock 'n' roll.

Reach Steven Uhles at (706) 823-3626 or steven.uhles@augustachronicle.com.


My band THE DLH gets good press............

Rock it like you're trying to commit murder.........

Stak