I BROKE THE "DRESS CODE" AT WORK TODAY..........

HAPPY HALLOWEEN FOLKS!!!!.................


Rock it like you're trying to commit murder........

Stak

ALIEN BRAINS IN MY FRONT YARD.......AAAAGGGGGHHHH!!!...

FUCKING BLOGGER.................

is making me INSANE..........i got these great photos of a mushroom that looks like an alien brain.......it popped up in my front yard.........i wanted to show it to you all.......but i keep getting errors each time i try to publish the blog........FUCK.........that's irritating stuff.......

SO MY YARD WAS INVADED BY BRAINS FROM OUTERSPACE.........

TECHNICAL VIRTUOSITY IS AS HEAVY AS A MILLSTONE.......

*Disclaimer*
The point of this post will most certainly be misconstrued by Bpops......This post is not in any way a dis on Tony Royster Jr.........


Above is one of the most amazing drum solos i've ever seen.........Tony Royster Jr. absolutely destroying a roomful of drummers at The Modern Drummer Conference.....made even more amazing by the fact that he was 12 years old at the time....this video used to make me ill..........i've been playing drums for over 20 years now and my skills are not in the same neighborhood as that 12 year old.......shit, they're not in the same zip code..........oh hell, they're not on the same continent.....

But then i realized.......like many virtuosos and classically trained musicians, Tony Royster Jr. couldn't make a concise,focused artistic musical statement if a gun were put to his head........the chops just jump out of him and fly in all directions......he can't control it.......he is TOO good........hence he would be lost playing behind a 3 minute pop song.........that is his curse.......doomed to never be recognized by the public at large.........oh sure, he is adored by other musicians and jazz fusion retards.......but face it......Mick Fleetwood is more popular.....and that guy sucks like a hoover........

Incredible talent........it's a blessing and a curse.........

Below is a more recent video of Mr. Royster.........at the end of the solo his band kicks in.........and they play that inane,incessantly boring brand of jazz fusion that only other jazz fusion musicians like......pretty cheesy stuff........

Jazz fusion........where hyper-talented musicians go to die........




Rock it like you're trying to commit murder.....

Stak

I LOVE LIO..............

This strip was recently added to the local daily.............i think it is amazing.......very dark.......sometimes sweet.........extremely funny.........created by Mark Tatulli, who manages to get laughs with zero dialog.......only images......truly brilliant........


Rock it like you're trying to commit murder...

Stak

HERO INTERFACE.............

i've talked about Christopher Moore's books on a few occasions up to now........i recently picked up his latest book A DIRTY JOB by chance in the public library.....after the first chapter i was convinced i had to read everything ever published by the guy.......these books are sublimely funny and precious.......after A DIRTY JOB, i read LAMB, THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO BIFF, CHRIST'S CHILDHOOD PAL and COYOTE BLUE.........right now i'm reading FLUKE,OR I KNOW WHY THE WINGED WHALE SINGS......i love this guy's stuff........

long story short, i noticed that Mr. Moore encourages e-mails from his readers while perusing the back jacket of FLUKE.......so i wrote a gushing fan letter to this best selling author.......

HE GOT BACK TO ME IN LESS THAN 24 HOURS............i was thrilled........he gave me thanks for the encouragement and news of a new book around the first of the year and another very large project sometime a good bit later.......

i highly recommend the books of CHRISTOPHER MOORE........funny and exceedingly delicate in their portrayals of the human experience......while at the same time magical...........

Rock it like you're trying to commit murder........

Stak

BEING A NEW PARENT(AGAIN)............

you take your happiness where you find it............Tracy and i've decided........that were 8 week old baby Aidan a native american child, he would already have his tribal name.........GROWLING BRITCHES.........

Rock it like you're trying to commit murder.......

Stak

IT'S A CHICK THING....t-bird's first bit of press......

What follows is the text from part of that i article from THE AUGUSTA CHRONICLE on female musicians of note in the area..........Tracy makes for good copy.........thanks go out to Steven Uhles for the fine work........


It's a chick thing
By Steven Uhles| Staff Writer
Thursday, October 12, 2006

Athough still seen as something of a novelty, the girl with a guitar or the woman who wails has long been an important part of rock music. Whether its Ma Rainey laying down an early blues blueprint, Janis Joplin redefining Texas roadhouse tunes or Chrissie Hynde and Debbie Harry's post-punk revolution, the sights and sounds of rock music have always featured a strong female component.



It makes sense, then, that Augusta's music-makers are not exclusively male. Here's a look at some of the women who have found their sound playing in and around the Garden City.


PUNK ROCK AND PREGNANCY

The first few times Augusta audiences were able to check out Tracy Steele, the bass player for Joe Graves and the Dirty Left Hand, they were greeted by a well-rounded musician, clearly pregnant with her son Aidan and still willing to pour tremendous energy into the Dirty Left Hand's raw rock sound.

"Women in particular seemed glad to see me up there representing - particularly when I was pregnant," she said. "There was a lot of 'Yeah! A pregnant girl!'"

Encouraged by her significant other, Augusta drummer Brian Allen, Ms. Steele began entertaining the idea of joining him onstage after receiving a bass as a Christmas present.

"Really, music is the reason Brian and I got together to start with," she said. "We both love music, love the same kind of music. It's important to us, important in this band. I wouldn't want to play with people that I don't get along with, that don't enjoy the same sort of music I do."

With a newborn in the house, Ms. Steele said, playing with Left Hand gives her the motivation to practice that might have easily evaporated with Aidan's arrival.

"It really has become my outlet, my excuse," she said. "Now I have a reason to do this, something I might have put off otherwise. With a baby, it's very easy not to do something that doesn't really need to get done."

As a music fan, Ms. Steele has spent a significant part of her life looking up to the female rockers who have come before. Though she isn't willing to put herself in the pantheon occupied by some of her heroes, she said that being the woman onstage in front of an audience has its appeal.

"It is kind of neat," she said with a laugh. "I'd like to think that someone might look up to me the same way they look up to (Pixies bass player) Kim Deal or someone like that."

HEAR HER LIVE: Joe Graves and the Dirty Left Hand perform tonight at The Soul Bar, 984 Broad St. For more information, call (706) 724-8880.





Reach Steven Uhles at (706) 823-3626 or steven.uhles@augustachronicle.com.

From the Thursday, October 12, 2006 edition of the Augusta Chronicle

DON'T WORRY YO PRETTY LIL HEAD BOUT IT,BABY........

a lil blast from the past..........Barry and Levon have been quoted ad nauseum over many nights of socialization with friends......thanks to joe g. for tipping me that the clip was floating around out there..........

DLH in the place to be...........

Thursday night, JOE GRAVES AND THE DIRTY LEFT HAND took the stage at THE SOUL BAR in Augusta........my favorite place to play.....our good friends Kate and Sean Anderson(brother & sister)opened the night with their band RAWR.........i have to say, as a relatively new band they are already amassing quite a following.......our band not so much.........YET............

when we took the stage, we worked that crowd over.......sloppy and noisy and inspired.......it was on like popcorn from joe's first high kick........and progressed from there.......i seriously wish we had a recording of the show just to be able to hear the stage banter over and over..........that JOE GRAVES is a funny guy........

in this post, i also include the image of our new logo.....as well as a photo of tracy that was taken recently for an article in THE AUGUSTA CHRONICLE on women in augusta who play music(in addition to jobs,motherhood,etc...).........

i'll link to the article if anyone wants it, but you have to register with the paper to see it.....

THIS IS MY BOY MUDD................aint he handsome..........

Aidan's chosen protector(besides myself of course)......gorgeous,no?...........

to quote christopher moore..........CRUELLY TURN THE STEEL-BELTED RADIALS OF DESITNY.........

naaaaaaaahhhhhh........destiny is not cruel.......although it may seem to be EXACTLY that..........destiny clearly turns a blind eye to the scales of justice.......this fact is proven true on a daily basis by the fortunes reported on the 6pm news of those who had the lightning strike of a winning lotto ticket and more predictably so, those who fell victim to that inevitible stray bullet in those daily drive-by shootings......seems like some innocent 3 year old falls victim to more of those than the actual gang bangers..........

in Augusta, our Sherriff went before the city commission proclaiming the existence of 44 gangs operating in our area.........this in an attempt to prevent the loss of any deputies through budget cuts........now i don't know about FORTY FOUR gangs in our small/big town...........but i know for a fact(through my work in an outpatient mental health clinic for children and adolescents)we have a ton of unsupervised,neglected potentially brilliant kids out there.........kids given more likely over to a short life of lunatic danger than to the realization of that potential..........it breaks my heart............in the years since 1991(when i started my work in this field), i've watched SO many of them die or go away to the state penitentiary system as a result of being un-watched over......this despite my VERY BEST EFFORTS.............some have even killed..........

what i have yet to come to terms with is this......the home is the seat of cruel destiny for these children........for most of them, i could only be there and CARE for a few hours a day.......and this has proven to be no match for the years of neglect this culture of entitlement and pure laziness embraced by their parent(singular)has inflicted upon them.........

As far as i can tell from anecdotal experience, some of the socialistic tendancies of our government have done more to hurt our most afflicted folks than to help them in the long run...........no question truisms ring clear at times like these.......not bullshit at all........wrong in no perceivable way............give a man a fish and he eats for a day, teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime........and on down through the generations........

i have more on this subject, but it is best saved for other evenings.........

Rock it like you're trying to commit murder........

Stak

RECENT EVENTS IN THE LIFE OF STAK........in images........

Lately, i've not really been inspired to write much.........perhaps because i've been ridiculously busy..........seems like the requirements of household,new parenthood,the return to work,band practices and performances and the NFL season are consuming every last drop of my spare time.........so i'll post some pictures.......you can fill in the blanks for yourself.......












Rock it like you're trying to commit murder.......

Stak

AND BECAUSE NFL FOOTBALL IS LIKE AN OPIATE TO ME...........i almost forgot to mention.......

I wrote earlier about how my band AMERICAN SKIN made it to the finals of THE AUGUSTA CHRONICLE SINGER/SONGWRITER COMPETITION........we played that friday night as part of the kickoff for ARTS IN THE HEART OF AUGUSTA(which is a HUGE annual to do here)......now lemme deny you,dear reader, of any sort of foreshadowing by saying that we came to nail this performance round to the floor.........and be honest, if you were a gambler, would you choose to lay odds on a few guys with acoustic guitars,a "Jesus loving" cheater or a rock and roll band lean with road experience?........the smart money is on the rock band EVERY time.........for many reasons......

I could not WAIT to see Jesus boy's band...........they led voting at the close.....this largely due to his repeated self-love(to which he admitted)and the fact(as he pointed out to us) that music is a "cut-throat business"..........in short, he voted for himself repeatedly online........that was cute...........what was better was how he opened his set at a SONGWRITER competition with a cover of SUPERMAN by THREE DOORS DOWN..........now this song consists of 4 chords.......it's straight rock and roll.........no band could've fucked this song up with any more aplomb than these nimrods(dig my biblical reference)..........they even managed to flip the backbeat and the downbeat.......what else was cute was how this retard managed to SUCK like a hoover for the remainder of his twenty minutes......when he played the song he entered into the contest live, it became very clear that it was recorded with studio musicians........because his band had great difficulty pulling it off......in fact, they didn't pull it off..........this guy managed to BUTCHER HIS OWN SONG..........he finished out of the money.........and deserved to be booed off the stage.........

There were additional attrocities committed onstage that night.........and there were bright spots as well...........MARC THOMPKINS showed why he nearly became an icon..........shamefully, it only netted him 3rd place.........

AMERICAN SKIN took the stage as the last performance of the night..........we were as electric as we could be under the conditions.........oh who am i kidding........we tore the stage down...........we levelled the set............we WON..............nice fat check from the daily paper........big box of cds and a case of hotsauce...........woohooo.............

but while that's all good and great...........we got the best reward yet........VINDICATION...............WE..........WIN...........

Rock it like you're trying to commit to murder.......

Stak

NOT A SOUL HATH SEEN.....................

the endzone versus my FALCONS..........and this 2 games into the regular season........i smell a playoff bound football team.........

woohooo

Rock it like you're trying to commit murder...

Stak

STATUS UPDATICUS..........

Baby Aidan grows.......and grows........and poops,eats,cries and sleeps......he had grown an inch at the first well baby visit to the doctor and is now well up over 8lbs.......well that was a week ago,the way he's eating he might weigh over 10lbs by now.......slowly, we are watching personality emerge from that cottony brain as the neurons begin to make their connections........still waiting for that first genuine smile...........

Week one saw my first loss in Fantasy Football, as my marquee player and leading WR in the NFL last season,STEVE SMITH, rode the pine with an injured hammy.......neither of my RBs saw the endzone and that hurt......my league is not yardage heavy in scoring, so even though WARRICK DUNN was the leading rusher for the week, i got very little in the way of Fantasy points from him.......those are the breaks however.......

I'm thoroughly enjoying reading LAMB-THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO BIFF, CHRIST'S CHILDHOOD PAL by CHRISTOPHER MOORE........i'm almost done with it and already have COYOTE BLUE in the on deck circle........before LAMB, i read A DIRTY JOB by the same author......what is there to be said about CHRISTOPHER MOORE.......his books are some of the funniest and smartly written that i've read in quite some time.....perhaps with DAVID SEDARIS coming in a distant second.......regardng LAMB, it's a brilliant imagining of the years of CHRIST'S life that went undocumented in THE GOSPELS.......it's irreverent to be sure.....but what is also striking is the obvious historical research that went into this book........good stuff.....for two books in a row now, MR. MOORE has had me stop reading to laugh aloud on repeated occasions.......that's rare in my experience.....

An unexpected bonus came out of my band AMERICAN SKIN being selected for the finals of THE AUGUSTA CHRONICLE SINGER/SONGWRITER CONTEST......we were asked to the new local listening room THE BLUE HORSE to be interviewed and photographed for the paper and we also got to record a video of the song we entered into the competition.....the best part of that was being able to perform on that stage......normally we would never be asked to play there for stylistic reasons......however, they have a premium stage and recording set-up......i think the studio equipment cost them more than it did to renovate the building........so it was nice to get the oppurtunity to "wind that system out" if you will......i'll post a link to the finished video, which is quite good sound quality-wise even though it was done on the fly.........you will have to register with the paper to see it........but it's free.....

click here for the article........

Rock it like you're trying to commit murder......

Stak

YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT'LL RUIN YOUR WHOLE DAY?..........

had what can only be described as a complicated and damned near traumatic root canal today..........and i was only scheduled for a cleaning........and they could only partially complete it(because of complications).......and i had to pay $269 out of my pocket(and i have dental insurance!!!!).........and it sucked........BIG TIME!!!!.........were it not for the medical wonders of prescription narcotics, i would be in an extremely FOUL humor at the moment......as it is, i'm merely annoyed.......

Rock it like you're trying to commit murder.......and the victim is your dentist

Stak

POOR WIDDLE KITTY CATS...........DAAAAAAAAAAH HA!!!!...........

Shown above is a pretty fair idea of how Jake Delhomme spent his day today.......with John Abraham IN HIS FACE..........it was SUPREMELY satisfying to watch my FALCONS dismantle THE CAROLINA PANTHERS in our season opener........on the road no less......no question Carolina fields a quality team........but ATLANTA had been written off by most everyone after a .500 season last year........what amazes me is that these sports "experts" forgot that virtually the same team went to the NFC championship game the year before........and also the fact that ATLANTA would've done MUCH better last year were it not for the burden of a metric ton of injuries on defense last year......nevermind the fact that Mike Vick has not had time to mature in the hybrid WCO Atlanta runs.........and rolling into the 06 season nevermind the acquisition of JOHN ABRAHAM(who spent half of his afternoon sipping tea in the PANTHER backfield between moments of sheer torture for JAKE DELHOMME).........nevermind the other improvements in the FALCON defense.........nevermind the improvements made otherwise.....LAWYER MILLOY is old.......CHRIS CROCKER is sub-par......GRADY JACKSON is fat.......ASHLEY LELIE is a malcontent and washed up......and on and on and on.........all these things were proffered in the sports media(what a bunch of fucksticks)and CAROLINA fans throughout the entire off-season.......the extent of their abuse of FALCONS fans online is paralleled ONLY by TAMPA and PHILLY fans(though we don't hear from those guys too much anymore since we rode hard over them in the opening game last season on MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL)..........


well how bout these apples we got right here today mr. prognosticator?!?!?............you like that mr. sports commentator?........how's 20-6 birds suitcha,mr bayless.........but......but but........CAROLINA was my superbowl pick,you say?.........feeling queasy Collinsworth?.............wanna puke Vic Carucci, you fucktard?............well you all should............because you've been exposed for the clueless moes almost each and every one of you happens to be..........and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US FALCONS FANS knew this was coming today..........and we are vindicated.........and we are reassured ONCE AGAIN, that all you sports commentators know exactly SHIT about football........otherwise,you'd all be coaches.............stupid assholes............


THE ATLANTA FALCONS BEAT THE LIVING PISS OUT OF THE CAROLINA PANTHERS TODAY 20-6..........THE PANTHERS NEVER SAW THE ENDZONE............by and large because they are a lesser team and far less talented than the sports media would have you believe.........


note to CAROLINA........ya might wanna try scoring a touchdown or two if you plan on living up to the media hype,PUNKS............

and by the way,DELHOMME.......you cry like a girl........and you throw like one too.........


Stak

This post brought to you by Anheiser Busch........

FISHING WITH JOHN TAUGHT ME THAT TOM WAITS IS A GIANT,WHINING PUSSY.........

First of all, lemme say this................. GOD BLESS NETFLIX!!...........an endless stream of fine film entertainment direct to my door via the US Postal Service for a pittance......i will never go out of my home to rent a movie again........there are currently 250 movies on my Q..........

On to the point of this particular entry...........TOM WAITS is a big,giant,whining,quivering,and worst of all, undignified PUSSY..........seriously.........his manhood card needs to be revoked.........he should be restricted to wearing skirts for the rest of his days on earth......and this is coming from someone who has admired his music for many years........and movies too.....don't forget the movies.......

Why am i calling TOM WAITS a pussy,you ask.......i'd be more than happy to expound dear imagined reader........i watched and enjoyed the DVD FISHING WITH JOHN......this silly documentary features musician JOHN LURIE fishing with various interesting people in exotic locales......JIM JARMUSCH in MANTOUCK........MATT DILLON in COSTA RICA,etc......accompanied by chaotic music,misplaced sound snippets and retarded commentary by the narrator..........."GUNSMOKE was my favorite program"........"the president is thinking of making the horse the official animal of COSTA RICA"........it was supremely entertaining.....and revealed little quirks in each guest fisherman...........

The episode with TOM WAITS caught my attention..........TOM would not bait his own hook........or take his fish off the hook when he landed them.......he got seasick on a stationary tugboat they were using as fishing platform.......he whined when he had to walk back to camp about how horrible everything was........and he was in JAMAICA at the time for fuck's sake......it's fucking official........if TOM WAITS was stranded on an island with no help in sight, he would starve to death.......he would stare deep into the eyes of the coconut that might possibly save his life(he would've befriended said coconut by this point........ya know, like WILSON from CASTAWAY) and cry about how hungry he was and how no one liked him because he was a drunk and borrowed way too much from LEONARD COHEN to feel comfortable making a living based on his "creative license".....he couldn't catch the flu if he were duct-taped to giant ball of flu germs....he couldn't catch his breath......in short, this little bitch couldn't catch a fish if the prolongation of his time on earf(that's right, i misspelled that shit on purpose) depended on it......and he would bitch and moan to the palm trees the whole time, the whiney bitch........

and that's all i got to say bout that...........

Rock it like you're trying to commit murder.......

Stak