THIS IS MY BOY MUDD................aint he handsome..........

Aidan's chosen protector(besides myself of course)......gorgeous,no?...........

to quote christopher moore..........CRUELLY TURN THE STEEL-BELTED RADIALS OF DESITNY.........

naaaaaaaahhhhhh........destiny is not cruel.......although it may seem to be EXACTLY that..........destiny clearly turns a blind eye to the scales of justice.......this fact is proven true on a daily basis by the fortunes reported on the 6pm news of those who had the lightning strike of a winning lotto ticket and more predictably so, those who fell victim to that inevitible stray bullet in those daily drive-by shootings......seems like some innocent 3 year old falls victim to more of those than the actual gang bangers..........

in Augusta, our Sherriff went before the city commission proclaiming the existence of 44 gangs operating in our area.........this in an attempt to prevent the loss of any deputies through budget cuts........now i don't know about FORTY FOUR gangs in our small/big town...........but i know for a fact(through my work in an outpatient mental health clinic for children and adolescents)we have a ton of unsupervised,neglected potentially brilliant kids out there.........kids given more likely over to a short life of lunatic danger than to the realization of that potential..........it breaks my heart............in the years since 1991(when i started my work in this field), i've watched SO many of them die or go away to the state penitentiary system as a result of being un-watched over......this despite my VERY BEST EFFORTS.............some have even killed..........

what i have yet to come to terms with is this......the home is the seat of cruel destiny for these children........for most of them, i could only be there and CARE for a few hours a day.......and this has proven to be no match for the years of neglect this culture of entitlement and pure laziness embraced by their parent(singular)has inflicted upon them.........

As far as i can tell from anecdotal experience, some of the socialistic tendancies of our government have done more to hurt our most afflicted folks than to help them in the long run...........no question truisms ring clear at times like these.......not bullshit at all........wrong in no perceivable way............give a man a fish and he eats for a day, teach a man to fish and he eats for a lifetime........and on down through the generations........

i have more on this subject, but it is best saved for other evenings.........

Rock it like you're trying to commit murder........

Stak

RECENT EVENTS IN THE LIFE OF STAK........in images........

Lately, i've not really been inspired to write much.........perhaps because i've been ridiculously busy..........seems like the requirements of household,new parenthood,the return to work,band practices and performances and the NFL season are consuming every last drop of my spare time.........so i'll post some pictures.......you can fill in the blanks for yourself.......












Rock it like you're trying to commit murder.......

Stak

AND BECAUSE NFL FOOTBALL IS LIKE AN OPIATE TO ME...........i almost forgot to mention.......

I wrote earlier about how my band AMERICAN SKIN made it to the finals of THE AUGUSTA CHRONICLE SINGER/SONGWRITER COMPETITION........we played that friday night as part of the kickoff for ARTS IN THE HEART OF AUGUSTA(which is a HUGE annual to do here)......now lemme deny you,dear reader, of any sort of foreshadowing by saying that we came to nail this performance round to the floor.........and be honest, if you were a gambler, would you choose to lay odds on a few guys with acoustic guitars,a "Jesus loving" cheater or a rock and roll band lean with road experience?........the smart money is on the rock band EVERY time.........for many reasons......

I could not WAIT to see Jesus boy's band...........they led voting at the close.....this largely due to his repeated self-love(to which he admitted)and the fact(as he pointed out to us) that music is a "cut-throat business"..........in short, he voted for himself repeatedly online........that was cute...........what was better was how he opened his set at a SONGWRITER competition with a cover of SUPERMAN by THREE DOORS DOWN..........now this song consists of 4 chords.......it's straight rock and roll.........no band could've fucked this song up with any more aplomb than these nimrods(dig my biblical reference)..........they even managed to flip the backbeat and the downbeat.......what else was cute was how this retard managed to SUCK like a hoover for the remainder of his twenty minutes......when he played the song he entered into the contest live, it became very clear that it was recorded with studio musicians........because his band had great difficulty pulling it off......in fact, they didn't pull it off..........this guy managed to BUTCHER HIS OWN SONG..........he finished out of the money.........and deserved to be booed off the stage.........

There were additional attrocities committed onstage that night.........and there were bright spots as well...........MARC THOMPKINS showed why he nearly became an icon..........shamefully, it only netted him 3rd place.........

AMERICAN SKIN took the stage as the last performance of the night..........we were as electric as we could be under the conditions.........oh who am i kidding........we tore the stage down...........we levelled the set............we WON..............nice fat check from the daily paper........big box of cds and a case of hotsauce...........woohooo.............

but while that's all good and great...........we got the best reward yet........VINDICATION...............WE..........WIN...........

Rock it like you're trying to commit to murder.......

Stak

NOT A SOUL HATH SEEN.....................

the endzone versus my FALCONS..........and this 2 games into the regular season........i smell a playoff bound football team.........

woohooo

Rock it like you're trying to commit murder...

Stak

STATUS UPDATICUS..........

Baby Aidan grows.......and grows........and poops,eats,cries and sleeps......he had grown an inch at the first well baby visit to the doctor and is now well up over 8lbs.......well that was a week ago,the way he's eating he might weigh over 10lbs by now.......slowly, we are watching personality emerge from that cottony brain as the neurons begin to make their connections........still waiting for that first genuine smile...........

Week one saw my first loss in Fantasy Football, as my marquee player and leading WR in the NFL last season,STEVE SMITH, rode the pine with an injured hammy.......neither of my RBs saw the endzone and that hurt......my league is not yardage heavy in scoring, so even though WARRICK DUNN was the leading rusher for the week, i got very little in the way of Fantasy points from him.......those are the breaks however.......

I'm thoroughly enjoying reading LAMB-THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO BIFF, CHRIST'S CHILDHOOD PAL by CHRISTOPHER MOORE........i'm almost done with it and already have COYOTE BLUE in the on deck circle........before LAMB, i read A DIRTY JOB by the same author......what is there to be said about CHRISTOPHER MOORE.......his books are some of the funniest and smartly written that i've read in quite some time.....perhaps with DAVID SEDARIS coming in a distant second.......regardng LAMB, it's a brilliant imagining of the years of CHRIST'S life that went undocumented in THE GOSPELS.......it's irreverent to be sure.....but what is also striking is the obvious historical research that went into this book........good stuff.....for two books in a row now, MR. MOORE has had me stop reading to laugh aloud on repeated occasions.......that's rare in my experience.....

An unexpected bonus came out of my band AMERICAN SKIN being selected for the finals of THE AUGUSTA CHRONICLE SINGER/SONGWRITER CONTEST......we were asked to the new local listening room THE BLUE HORSE to be interviewed and photographed for the paper and we also got to record a video of the song we entered into the competition.....the best part of that was being able to perform on that stage......normally we would never be asked to play there for stylistic reasons......however, they have a premium stage and recording set-up......i think the studio equipment cost them more than it did to renovate the building........so it was nice to get the oppurtunity to "wind that system out" if you will......i'll post a link to the finished video, which is quite good sound quality-wise even though it was done on the fly.........you will have to register with the paper to see it........but it's free.....

click here for the article........

Rock it like you're trying to commit murder......

Stak

YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT'LL RUIN YOUR WHOLE DAY?..........

had what can only be described as a complicated and damned near traumatic root canal today..........and i was only scheduled for a cleaning........and they could only partially complete it(because of complications).......and i had to pay $269 out of my pocket(and i have dental insurance!!!!).........and it sucked........BIG TIME!!!!.........were it not for the medical wonders of prescription narcotics, i would be in an extremely FOUL humor at the moment......as it is, i'm merely annoyed.......

Rock it like you're trying to commit murder.......and the victim is your dentist

Stak

POOR WIDDLE KITTY CATS...........DAAAAAAAAAAH HA!!!!...........

Shown above is a pretty fair idea of how Jake Delhomme spent his day today.......with John Abraham IN HIS FACE..........it was SUPREMELY satisfying to watch my FALCONS dismantle THE CAROLINA PANTHERS in our season opener........on the road no less......no question Carolina fields a quality team........but ATLANTA had been written off by most everyone after a .500 season last year........what amazes me is that these sports "experts" forgot that virtually the same team went to the NFC championship game the year before........and also the fact that ATLANTA would've done MUCH better last year were it not for the burden of a metric ton of injuries on defense last year......nevermind the fact that Mike Vick has not had time to mature in the hybrid WCO Atlanta runs.........and rolling into the 06 season nevermind the acquisition of JOHN ABRAHAM(who spent half of his afternoon sipping tea in the PANTHER backfield between moments of sheer torture for JAKE DELHOMME).........nevermind the other improvements in the FALCON defense.........nevermind the improvements made otherwise.....LAWYER MILLOY is old.......CHRIS CROCKER is sub-par......GRADY JACKSON is fat.......ASHLEY LELIE is a malcontent and washed up......and on and on and on.........all these things were proffered in the sports media(what a bunch of fucksticks)and CAROLINA fans throughout the entire off-season.......the extent of their abuse of FALCONS fans online is paralleled ONLY by TAMPA and PHILLY fans(though we don't hear from those guys too much anymore since we rode hard over them in the opening game last season on MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL)..........


well how bout these apples we got right here today mr. prognosticator?!?!?............you like that mr. sports commentator?........how's 20-6 birds suitcha,mr bayless.........but......but but........CAROLINA was my superbowl pick,you say?.........feeling queasy Collinsworth?.............wanna puke Vic Carucci, you fucktard?............well you all should............because you've been exposed for the clueless moes almost each and every one of you happens to be..........and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US FALCONS FANS knew this was coming today..........and we are vindicated.........and we are reassured ONCE AGAIN, that all you sports commentators know exactly SHIT about football........otherwise,you'd all be coaches.............stupid assholes............


THE ATLANTA FALCONS BEAT THE LIVING PISS OUT OF THE CAROLINA PANTHERS TODAY 20-6..........THE PANTHERS NEVER SAW THE ENDZONE............by and large because they are a lesser team and far less talented than the sports media would have you believe.........


note to CAROLINA........ya might wanna try scoring a touchdown or two if you plan on living up to the media hype,PUNKS............

and by the way,DELHOMME.......you cry like a girl........and you throw like one too.........


Stak

This post brought to you by Anheiser Busch........

FISHING WITH JOHN TAUGHT ME THAT TOM WAITS IS A GIANT,WHINING PUSSY.........

First of all, lemme say this................. GOD BLESS NETFLIX!!...........an endless stream of fine film entertainment direct to my door via the US Postal Service for a pittance......i will never go out of my home to rent a movie again........there are currently 250 movies on my Q..........

On to the point of this particular entry...........TOM WAITS is a big,giant,whining,quivering,and worst of all, undignified PUSSY..........seriously.........his manhood card needs to be revoked.........he should be restricted to wearing skirts for the rest of his days on earth......and this is coming from someone who has admired his music for many years........and movies too.....don't forget the movies.......

Why am i calling TOM WAITS a pussy,you ask.......i'd be more than happy to expound dear imagined reader........i watched and enjoyed the DVD FISHING WITH JOHN......this silly documentary features musician JOHN LURIE fishing with various interesting people in exotic locales......JIM JARMUSCH in MANTOUCK........MATT DILLON in COSTA RICA,etc......accompanied by chaotic music,misplaced sound snippets and retarded commentary by the narrator..........."GUNSMOKE was my favorite program"........"the president is thinking of making the horse the official animal of COSTA RICA"........it was supremely entertaining.....and revealed little quirks in each guest fisherman...........

The episode with TOM WAITS caught my attention..........TOM would not bait his own hook........or take his fish off the hook when he landed them.......he got seasick on a stationary tugboat they were using as fishing platform.......he whined when he had to walk back to camp about how horrible everything was........and he was in JAMAICA at the time for fuck's sake......it's fucking official........if TOM WAITS was stranded on an island with no help in sight, he would starve to death.......he would stare deep into the eyes of the coconut that might possibly save his life(he would've befriended said coconut by this point........ya know, like WILSON from CASTAWAY) and cry about how hungry he was and how no one liked him because he was a drunk and borrowed way too much from LEONARD COHEN to feel comfortable making a living based on his "creative license".....he couldn't catch the flu if he were duct-taped to giant ball of flu germs....he couldn't catch his breath......in short, this little bitch couldn't catch a fish if the prolongation of his time on earf(that's right, i misspelled that shit on purpose) depended on it......and he would bitch and moan to the palm trees the whole time, the whiney bitch........

and that's all i got to say bout that...........

Rock it like you're trying to commit murder.......

Stak

I'M AN IRIS MODEL...................

lemme qualify this post by saying that this IS NOT a photo of my eye.....lest my lawyers freak out......... as lawyers will do........


i saw a car commercial tonight...........it had a split second cut to a pupil dilating(i would guess in response to the exquisite performance of said car)...........i thought to myself.........."what a beautiful eyeball"........didn't care what sex the container was......it was just pretty............so i wonder............do they have eyeball models for commercials?.........mine are a pretty shade of green........when they're not bloodshot, i'm willing to work..........all you eyeball model scouts look me up..............



btw............the PITTSBURGH STEELERS have what has to be one of the BEST backup QBs in the league.......MATT SCHAUB of ATL is not far behind.........

THE SKIN WE'RE IN.........some vindication in the face of hypocrisy

So.............my band AMERICAN SKIN(click on the link to the right for the full skinny on myspace), being ever intrepid, entered a songwriting competition held annually in our hometown.......it is sponsored by THE AUGUSTA CHRONICLE(our daily rag) and put on by said daily's entertainment writer Steven Uhles(who was a breath of fresh air when he came back home to work for the paper)......we placed a song we're quite proud of called TOBE HOOPER into the ring.........i love this song for its mean,garage feel.......the premise of the tune is that the killer in relationships is the the silence between us,not the psycho in the closet..........and that,mah friends is sheer cool........But i digress.......

The voting was held largely online through the paper's website........with the top three highest voted acts moving on to perform their music at a local festival for judging.......now here's the rub.........invariably each year several christian groups enter the contest.....now this is not to be taken as a slam on christianity or christian music or churches or any other such........HOWEVER......every year these christian groups enter this songwriting contest and turn it into a "my church is bigger than your church" thing..........they manage to get out a ton of votes because everyone at their church is behind them.......it becomes a popularity contest...which sort of spits in the face of the noble intent of this contest.........which is to honor and reward the best songwriting.....because without fail thus far, the songs of these groups are pure T CRAPOLA........poorly imagined,poor lyricism(don't get me started on the inherent lyrical limitation of christian music),poor performances,poor production.....just plain poor altogether.....this year, to take the lunacy a step furthur, one guy even admitted to voting for himself over and over again(he ended with the most votes)......when we questioned him about it, his response was "music is a cut throat business".........WHAT THE FUCK?..........are you fucking KIDDING ME?......so i'm looking in the dicitionary and this fucktard's picture is materializing before my eyes next to the entry for HYPOCRISY.......

To sort of balance things out, the paper also chooses 3 critics picks from the list of hopefuls......that makes for a total of 6 bands.....each will perform before a panel of judges at the largest arts festival of year in Augusta.......the voting has ended and at last check,AMERICAN SKIN was 4th in votes behind the "christian" rock guy and two others.........however, we got word yesterday that we have been promoted to the performance round.....now my righteous indignation meter is in the red over what mr top vote getter said previously........so i'm saying without shame that i truly hope that we mop up the stage with that idiot........i'll let you all know how it turns out........

rock it like you're trying to commit murder....

stak

FANTASY LAND or how grown men waste dozens of hours weekly just so they can gloat at the end of football season......

As most of you know, each year packs of grown men gather in livingrooms,restaraunts, and bars across this great nation with a single goal in mind.........talking smack at the end of football season.........as we tower in triumph over friends holding that coveted title of fantasy football CHAMPEEEN........Sadly, i have not yet reached that goal myself........but i'm due going into year four........the one thing Fantasy HAS done for me and all the folks in my league is grow a greater appreciation of NFL football.........fantasy makes EVERY game each week relevant.......and it's just great fun..........

So this past Labor Day, we once again converged on my good friend Joe's house(where i go to watch the FALCONS games each sunday),grilled burgers and dogs,drank many many beers and drafted our fantasy teams.........it was great fun, with tons of smack talking already beginning.....below i list my team.......lemme know what you think if you're a football fan........We start 1 QB,2 WRs,2 RBs,1 TE,1 K,1 Defensive team,and 1 individual defensive player....this is a 10 team league.......

Eli Manning-QB NYG
Steve Smith-WR CAR
Randy Moss-WR OAK
Steven Jackson-RB StL
Warrick Dunn-RB ATL
Randy McMichael-TE MIA
Chris Simms-QB TB
Frank Gore-RB SF
Lawrence Maroney-RB NE
Jeb Putzier-TE HOU
TJ Duckett-RB WASH
Michael Koenen-K ATL
Denver-DEF
Chris Gamble-DB CAR
Deangelo Hall-DB ATL

I understand that i'm heavy at running back, but i'm keeping an eye on the waiver wires and watching performances(by WRs especially) for the first few weeks of the regular season......

Rock it like you're trying to commit murder......

Stak

SO I WENT TO THE MOVIES THIS WEEKEND.......

Bought into the hype to the tune of $8.75 a ticket and went to see the film INVINCIBLE last night.......maybe i'm getting older, but the thrill of seeing movies is less and less of a thing for me when i can blast movies through my home stereo and 32inch television........some movies i will agree are best experienced in the theater........this film wasn't one of them.......

This is not to say it was a bad film.........my 14 year old really liked it.........but i would grade it a B-minus......i felt it got very very bogged down toward the end of the second act........and that largely due to Disney trying to capitalize on what a long shot it was gonna be for Vince Papale to make a pro football team as a walk on.........which to me, was largely unnecessary.......

Another thing that bothered me about the film was the dramatization of Papale's big special teams play in his second regular season game as an EAGLE.........in the real life play, everything happened in a flash......BOOM!!!.........and the kid from Philly is in the endzone..........and that's the way it happens in sports......sometimes before you can even realize what happened.......the movie version was drawn out to the point of being quite silly.....Papale's run to the endzone was agonizing for no point.......and it just wasn't the way whole thing happened in real life.........drama in football movies?.....great...........MELODRAMA in football movies..........not so great

Having said that, Greg Kinnear is SCARY GOOD in the role of Dick Vermeil......Mark Wahlberg turned in an understated and serviceable performance.....and the movie wasn't so sappy as to be unenjoyable.....

And........i was reminded of just how TERRIBLE philly fans can be.......right up there with Yankee fans.......

Rock it like you're trying to commit murder.......

Stak

HERE'S A TOAST TO CROSS-POLLINATION........perhaps my new favorite nation........

So i've gotten some propers based on my responses to other folks' blogs.........and for some weird reason, the stuff i write in response to thoughts of others ALWAYS comes out comical.........or............GAY..........depending on how cynical you might be..........at any rate, check out my new friend Janna's blog........i think it's quite good..........here's what she had to say recently......God bless the possibility of Superheros or villains or bagboys who have the ability to shoot flames out of their ass.........gives me mucho hope for the future of mankind.......and ass-flames shooters globally............

" Now all I need is a comic book....
Remember the Fire-Fart picture I posted yesterday?
Stak left an insightful comment, saying how actually that isn't a downfall but a potential bonus. He said he would gladly use the "gift" as a superpower with which to fight crime.
I hadn't thought of that! Hmmm!
Maybe I could be a superVILLAIN instead of a superHERO... I think the villains have more fun...
We already decided in a previous post that my Supervillain Name is "The Black Onion," so just imagine how bad those farts would be...
I'd have Superman quivering on the ground in no time at all...."

posted by Janna at 3:10 PM 0 comments

http://jannaverse.blogspot.com/








on a different sorta note, i will be posting my thoughts on the movie INVICIBLE...........as well as my results in the upcoming SOUL BAR FFL draft......don't hesitate to check on me,yo........i'll tell ya bout my newborn.....

Rock it like you're trying to commit murder..........

Stak

MY DOG IS AN ASTRONAUT...........

You strap the dog into the chair
She tried to lick your face
Then you counted backwards
And you launched her into space

You made no provision
For bringing her back home
High and all alone

You can't look into the sky
You might see a falling star
If i get one wish I hope that Laika will go far
I hope she sails on and on
Across the universe

Finds there some new world
Where she'll be safe from man's experiments
That don't have come home parts
Free from being bound by chains and
Left alone in cars

I wonder if she'll think about
Her family back on earth
Laika
Laika
My dog is an astronaut
Howling above the moon
She lives up in heaven
Lightyears away from home..................

Thank you,Pond..........you were my favorite for a time.........