08 September 2006

FISHING WITH JOHN TAUGHT ME THAT TOM WAITS IS A GIANT,WHINING PUSSY.........





First of all, lemme say this................. GOD BLESS NETFLIX!!...........an endless stream of fine film entertainment direct to my door via the US Postal Service for a pittance......i will never go out of my home to rent a movie again........there are currently 250 movies on my Q..........

On to the point of this particular entry...........TOM WAITS is a big,giant,whining,quivering,and worst of all, undignified PUSSY..........seriously.........his manhood card needs to be revoked.........he should be restricted to wearing skirts for the rest of his days on earth......and this is coming from someone who has admired his music for many years........and movies too.....don't forget the movies.......

Why am i calling TOM WAITS a pussy,you ask.......i'd be more than happy to expound dear imagined reader........i watched and enjoyed the DVD FISHING WITH JOHN......this silly documentary features musician JOHN LURIE fishing with various interesting people in exotic locales......JIM JARMUSCH in MANTOUCK........MATT DILLON in COSTA RICA,etc......accompanied by chaotic music,misplaced sound snippets and retarded commentary by the narrator..........."GUNSMOKE was my favorite program"........"the president is thinking of making the horse the official animal of COSTA RICA"........it was supremely entertaining.....and revealed little quirks in each guest fisherman...........

The episode with TOM WAITS caught my attention..........TOM would not bait his own hook........or take his fish off the hook when he landed them.......he got seasick on a stationary tugboat they were using as fishing platform.......he whined when he had to walk back to camp about how horrible everything was........and he was in JAMAICA at the time for fuck's sake......it's fucking official........if TOM WAITS was stranded on an island with no help in sight, he would starve to death.......he would stare deep into the eyes of the coconut that might possibly save his life(he would've befriended said coconut by this point........ya know, like WILSON from CASTAWAY) and cry about how hungry he was and how no one liked him because he was a drunk and borrowed way too much from LEONARD COHEN to feel comfortable making a living based on his "creative license".....he couldn't catch the flu if he were duct-taped to giant ball of flu germs....he couldn't catch his breath......in short, this little bitch couldn't catch a fish if the prolongation of his time on earf(that's right, i misspelled that shit on purpose) depended on it......and he would bitch and moan to the palm trees the whole time, the whiney bitch........

and that's all i got to say bout that...........

Rock it like you're trying to commit murder.......

Stak

3 comments:

Reel Fanatic said...

You're right about that episode . what a damn wuss! .. I just love the overall DVD, though, especially the segment with Jarmusch

Quindigo said...

I had no idea Tom Waits was in movies - apparently I didn't miss much, huh?

Nonrelated, but I bought stock in Netflix two weeks ago...tell more people how great it is to get movies without ever leaving the house!) :)

Anonymous said...

I located your blog by Googling the phrase "Fishing with John Tom Waits is a Pussy". I just wanted to see if anybody else realized what a puss this man is. It was especially funny because he was acting so "gung-ho" in the beginning. I believe he said something to the effect of "I could live out here". Then he starts singing some sort of ol'timey sounding fishing song to show what an authentic, grizzled fisherman he is. Then his whole facade comes crumbling down the moment he actually has to fish, or walk somewhere, or ride in a boat. Tom Waits likes to pretend like he's some sort of working class tough guy, but he's clearly a fake.