GOD BLESS LARRY MUNSON.........and God bless them Dawgs too........

The news this week was that long time GEORGIA BULLDOG football play by play guy,Larry Munson will not be travelling to away games this season.........and the rumor is that this may be his final season.......if it is, the final home game will be a sad day for DAWG fans.........he has been calling games since i was a child and is regarded as one of the best in the business..........when GEORGIA games are televised, folks here turn down the volume on the TV and tune LARRY in on the radio...........word is that he is in poor health...........well God Bless You,Larry Munson..........our love affair with you doesn't end this season...........

ME AND TRIXIE FORWARD DRUNK POST MACH DEUCE........dysfunctional superhero draft.........

Heh.......my favorite line from SPACEGHOST COAST TO COAST.........courtesy of ZORAK........"that nanny needs a lozenge".......that said, me and Trix have decided to post a dysfunctional superhero draft..........if you were gonna have a fucked up superhero team, who would you have?...............pick number one goes to me because i rule here...........feel free to post your draft picks in the comments section.......wait for at least one additional comment before posting your next pick........and i guarantee you my retard superheroes will out fuck up yours........

With the 1st pick of the dysfunctional superhero draft, i pick ..........

SPACEGHOST.........Trixie's on the clock.......tick tick tick.........

I'm goin' with SWAMP THING one of the greatest movies of the 80's, first off if you chop anything off it grows back! Lorraina Bobbitt do your worst. Then the hideous lovable guy always touches me in that special place...uhh Brian you're the 1st.

Uhhhhh.......riiiiggghhhht,Trix............for my next pick, imma have to take THE TICK...........so far i've countered your regenerative unit with 2 brutish retards......plus THE TICK comes with a side kick who's a pussy...........dysfunctionally, you're super retard team's ass is grass......plus, SPACEGHOST likes GINO VINELLI..........extra points for me for my team's shit taste in music...........heh...........your pick,virgin...........

Okay this one's personal. WONDER WOMAN. I loved WONDER WOMAN when I was a kid cause everyone knows that when you play WONDER WOMAN you spin around to change from Linda Carter into WONDER WOMAN. I really loved spinning around untill I was too dizzy to stand up. It looks like both Linda & I grew out of spinning & took on heavy drinking. I still feel like WONDER WOMAN when I'm too dizzy to stand up......... for Stak's sake.

Stak's on the clock.....tick tick tick...........

Okay, you've clearly upped the ante,bitch........that WONDER WOMAN pick was straight up a groin shot, being as she's not really all that dysfunctional....except for the fact that Linda Carter is equal to you in the drunk department...........so i've gotta play smart here.......for my next retarded dysfunctional super hero team pick, i select....................tick tick tick........wait for it.........

THE BURGER KING!!!............that's right bitches!!!........i totally saw this badass murder RONALD MCDONALD...........the blood was straight ketchup..........top THAT...............this time, if you're gonna pick a chick, make it a drunk slut like LINDSAY LOHAN...............the clock is now ticking for Trixie..........tick tick tick.........

Alright, this one's for Troma, I was gonna go for the obvious Toxic Avenger. Since he's really a goodie goodie at heart & the only dysfunctional thing is that he works for Troma it doesn't really count. So, my pick to show my love for the Troma is
SGT. KABUKI MAN NYPD. Rough around the edges and kicks ass in a dress, yep its Harry whatshisname for me.

Aiight.........Aiiight.......that pick only strengthens your team.......but i got a counter for your shits............imma have to take TRASH GORDON from SESAME STREET fame.........he would be the only motherfucker on my team with the sense to take the pebble out of his shoe on the planet of retards with pebbles in their shoes.....plus he knows how to pick up the phone when it's ringing.......top THAT bitch!!!!............my team is done........the rest is up to you......

The clock is now ticking for Trixie........look for a blockbuster trade offer from Rhian any moment now..........

I WANTED TRASH!!!!!!!! I WANTED TRASH!!!!!!!!! SUPER GROVER WOULD CRASH INTO YOUR TRASH GORDON THEN GIVE HIS BROKEN DOWN ASS A PEANUT BUTTER & JELLY SANDWHICH!!!!!!!!!

Okay, now that I've finished my hissyfit, counted back from ten & taken a deep breath........ THUNDAR THE BARBARIAN is my next pick, that shit about SUPER GROVER was just to make a point, an angry point. THUNDAR THE BARBARIAN is the blue print for HE-MAN. He also took direction from HAN SOLO with his non-vocalizing animalistic side-kick. I'll give a nickel to anyone who remembers that guys name. THUNDAR fought foes beyond his time does anyone know was that the past or the future? Did the Moon crash into the Earth or something? Anyway ripped thighs & a mighty big sword & a pet who can watch your back. What else needs to be said?


Well fuck...........there you have it..........two of the most retarded superhero teams in the history of retardation.........and i think it might be our best drunk collaboration in the history of retards posting on the internets...........can your stupid hero teams top ours?..........i fucking strongly doubt it,bitches.........but bring it if you got the guts...........the retard hero league of fucked-uppedness will begin competition this fall to coincide with the start of the NFL season(that's for those of you with a decided lack of interest in the greatest game conceived by man).........who know's........maybe we can sell the rights to ESPN..............

give us your picks............

Stak

THIS IS A MIGHTY MIGHTY JERSEY......this 8 will eat you...........*snicker*

I saw this over at With Leather and just had to share it here.......prepare for hilarity because this guy is clearly living in Loo Loo Land.......beware anyone you see wearing a Detroit Lions jersey on the street.......clearly, they are mighty and will smite you with the number 8...........i'm a hopeless Atlanta Falcons fan, but i'm not nearly as deluded as this wingnut......i would never post vids on Youtube proclaiming Mike Vick as a "Touchdown Assasin".........which is worse, a D&D obsessed geekazoid or a Detroit Lions fan?........well, this guy is obviously both.........have a good laugh,folks.........it's on this idiot.......

Rock it like a fan with some sense......wait for your team to put together a winning season before you go around warning the entire NFL of your teams dominance.....sheesh......

Stak

APPARENTLY, MY ASS ROCKS...........is that a good thing?......

The fact that this tag used to say "girl" in the middle is not lost on me...........i'm kind of amused by it..........however, i would like to take this oppurtunity to thank
Rhian as well as the Academy for this honor........even if i did have to show my ass to get it...........

Rock it like a meteorologist.......Rock it like a hurricaine........

Stak

SYMBIOTES...............poetry train car number whatever.........

their destinies forever entwined
the opium poppies
stare dreamily into the night sky
seeing the faces of future junkies
in the rolling clouds
content in the knowledge
that they will meet again soon






Stak

WEEK ONE of MY WEEKLY POWER RANKINGS........a new feature......

Each year, sports journalists engage in the sometimes laughable practice of putting each of the NFL teams in order from greatest to least....the team in the top spot is supposedly the team that will eventually become the Superbowl champion at the end of the season....they call these lists power rankings...the rankings change weekly based on performance.......usually, the teams at the top and the bottom can be agreed upon by most folks.......but things get murky in the middle.........and despite the fact that these lists are absolutely meaningless......sports retards will argue these rankings endlessly throughout the season........actually, they argue about them all year round......it's still 3 months away from the start of the NFL season and these nimrod sports "journalists" are already posting power rankings.......i'm itching for the beginning of football season as much as any average joe, but gatdamm!!!...........

That said, i decided to post some meaningless "Power Rankings" of my own......what follows is a list of things that i think are kick ass(i know, i know it's a blog device...but i've been word-dead lately so it's time to break out of the funk)........

1. MILLER LITE-coming in strong at the top of the pile is my drink of choice.......and it's quantity,not quality bitches.....truth be told, were i posting power rankings for about the past 5 years, Less Filling and Great Taste would've been champion the entire time........extra points for purposeful misspelling......





2. JOE GRAVES AND THE DIRTY LEFT HAND-i play drums in this band.....we rock well.......we got a show at THE FIREHOUSE tomorrow night......you should come to it.......





3. AMERICAN SKIN-my other band......serious ROCK for that ass......the only reason AMSKIN is ranked below THE DLH is because we're in a rebuilding year......

4. SEX-no explanation needed....





5. GUITAR HERO II-This ridiculously fun video game is really nothing more than an advanced version of the game SIMON(remember that one)...except that you get to strap on a fake plastic guitar to play it.........it has recently come under harsh criticism by insecure guitar teachers everywhere.........fuck those guys, this game is a hoot and a half.........

6. MEXICAN RESTAURANTS ON SUNDAY-i live in the Bible Belt and we have so-called "blue laws" which are set forth to force the values of a bunch of Bible thumping fucktards on the rest of us normal people......so you can't buy beer here on Sunday.......but the Mexican Restaurants are open on Sunday......and they never run out of beer..........plus burritos are mighty tasty.......





7. PORN-9 out 10 guys who aren't total douchebags agree.......porn is good for the soul......

8. SILVERSUN PICKUPS- i recently acquired a copy of their latest cd called CARNAVASE.....do yourself a favor and go out and buy it.....seriously good, dreamy shit........the leader sounds like the guy from GRANDADDY..........and that's not too shabby....





9. THE VIEW FROM MY SEATS- i got tickets to the first regular season FALCONS home game against THE PANTHERS on Sept. 23rd.......fuck yes!!!!......i cannot wait.....

and finally.........

10. TOBLERONE- thank Allah for impulse buys in the checkout line at TARGET....chocolate never tasted so good........

There you have it, my week one power rankings.........feel free to discuss or post your own..........these are subject to change on a weekly basis, but i'm willing to bet that some form of beer will remain at number one for a long time to come......or at least until i'm attending AA meetings on a more regular basis........

Rock it like you're getting back on the horse........show no fear.......

Stak

HAPPY BIRFDAY TO TRIXIEIPECAC!!!..........we had great dinner.....

Would look at that?!!!.........She got the cake, but i think i got the real present in this equation.......We went out to Bistro 491.......can you say posh.......indeed it was posh and expensive......but a real treat......

Stak

SOME R&R CULTURE FOR DAT ASS!!!!!............come see me rock

DUALISM.............me and trixie forward drunk post number one.......

Trixie says she loves Billy Connely's scottish accent..............forward fast to the fact that we just convened JOE GRAVES AND THE DIRTY LEFT HAND practice.........and we are fucking PLASTERED............i mean our gills are plastered to the side of our necks(did i mention the fact that we're both sea monsters?)..............at any rate, late night tv is prompting us to "get zwinky" right now...............in the face of that, i'm extra retarded............that given, imma turn it over to someone with some sense.........Trixie?............

I like a scottish accent because I'm a fan of the Red Dwarf series. Heard of it? Its you're run of the mill step up from Dr Who & Hitch-hikers guide to the galaxy. As far as gills go....I only thrashed around with that thing in the black lagoon once & as far as I know gills aren't contagious are they??? Maybe I was just drunk & he had really dry skin, maybe it was some wanna be surfer from the isle of palms.....the windjammer was jammin' though.........

Rock it like Trixie got this shit under control........allow yr chick to blog when you've lost all touch with reality...........think i'll have another beer.......

Stak

Post script.........she rocks don't she..............

THRASHER'S GROCERY............an account of a trip into Normaltown,GA..............

The irony of the name given to Normaltown(a small suburban section of Athens,Georgia) is not lost on me...............i have the experience to prove it.........and it's one fucking weird experience...........i cherish it to this day...........

Back in the early 90's, i was actively pursuing music with the intent of conquering the world(news at 11, that shit aint never gonna happen).........i was living in Augusta back then.........however, i had joined a band of Augusta expatriates living in Athens called DEBT OF NATURE.........an extremely psychedelic band, DON was given to partaking in the sorts of substances a band of that nature got all giddy over and what not...........long story short..........after a full night of reveling in the majesty of weirdo music on the stereo(i'm sure DINOSAUR JR's album YOU'RE LIVING ALL OVER ME and a viewing of PINK FLOYD live at Pompei were involved) we decided to visit THRASHER'S GROCERY in Normaltown...........it was 7am at this point and breakfast was in order.........and as i was informed, THRASHER'S served a mean biscuit............

This supposed grocery was set in the middle of a neighborhood of shotgun houses, rundown and with multiple broken down cars and trucks a requirement on the lawns.......as we walked in, i noticed a kid sitting on the porch of the neighboring house.........he was a dead ringer for the banjo playing mongoloid in DELIVERANCE..........stepping into this place, i realized it was a grocery store in name only...........the shelves were lined with industrial sized jars of mustard and pickles...........not much else...........but there was a glass meat counter.........behind the counter, was a woman with no teeth and a mole the size of Alaska with a hair the length of the Alaskan pipeline jutting jauntily from said mole.........keep in mind,i'm completely fucked up here on powerful psychedelics.........i thought i'd stepped into an alternate universe.........this woman took our orders for bacon,egg and cheese biscuits........she passed the orders through a window to the kitchen to a hairless lady with an equal tooth deficit.......they passed out the biscuits through the window of toothless ladies........the biscuits were the size of dinner plates and delicious..........

The kicker came when the DELIVERANCE kid came in from next door...........he walked up the meat counter(this is 7:30am mind you)..........he had a paper grocery sack in his hands..........he promptly states to the mole lady..........."pounda lard"........she regards him briefly, recahes into the meatcase and pulls out a white chunk of animal fat and replies........."pounda lard".........she reaches over the meatcase and drops the animal fat into the sack........transaction completed, DELIVERANCE boy walks out of the "grocery"...........

My mind=completely fucked............

That a was fun experience...........i enjoyed the biscuit.........

Rock it like you can appreciate the odd...........eat the whole fucking gigantic biscuit.......

Stak