Heh.......my favorite line from SPACEGHOST COAST TO COAST.........courtesy of ZORAK........"that nanny needs a lozenge".......that said, me and Trix have decided to post a dysfunctional superhero draft..........if you were gonna have a fucked up superhero team, who would you have?...............pick number one goes to me because i rule here...........feel free to post your draft picks in the comments section.......wait for at least one additional comment before posting your next pick........and i guarantee you my retard superheroes will out fuck up yours........
With the 1st pick of the dysfunctional superhero draft, i pick ..........
SPACEGHOST.........Trixie's on the clock.......tick tick tick.........
I'm goin' with SWAMP THING one of the greatest movies of the 80's, first off if you chop anything off it grows back! Lorraina Bobbitt do your worst. Then the hideous lovable guy always touches me in that special place...uhh Brian you're the 1st.
Uhhhhh.......riiiiggghhhht,Trix............for my next pick, imma have to take THE TICK...........so far i've countered your regenerative unit with 2 brutish retards......plus THE TICK comes with a side kick who's a pussy...........dysfunctionally, you're super retard team's ass is grass......plus, SPACEGHOST likes GINO VINELLI..........extra points for me for my team's shit taste in music...........heh...........your pick,virgin...........
Okay this one's personal. WONDER WOMAN. I loved WONDER WOMAN when I was a kid cause everyone knows that when you play WONDER WOMAN you spin around to change from Linda Carter into WONDER WOMAN. I really loved spinning around untill I was too dizzy to stand up. It looks like both Linda & I grew out of spinning & took on heavy drinking. I still feel like WONDER WOMAN when I'm too dizzy to stand up......... for Stak's sake.
Stak's on the clock.....tick tick tick...........
Okay, you've clearly upped the ante,bitch........that WONDER WOMAN pick was straight up a groin shot, being as she's not really all that dysfunctional....except for the fact that Linda Carter is equal to you in the drunk department...........so i've gotta play smart here.......for my next retarded dysfunctional super hero team pick, i select....................tick tick tick........wait for it.........
THE BURGER KING!!!............that's right bitches!!!........i totally saw this badass murder RONALD MCDONALD...........the blood was straight ketchup..........top THAT...............this time, if you're gonna pick a chick, make it a drunk slut like LINDSAY LOHAN...............the clock is now ticking for Trixie..........tick tick tick.........
Alright, this one's for Troma, I was gonna go for the obvious Toxic Avenger. Since he's really a goodie goodie at heart & the only dysfunctional thing is that he works for Troma it doesn't really count. So, my pick to show my love for the Troma is
SGT. KABUKI MAN NYPD. Rough around the edges and kicks ass in a dress, yep its Harry whatshisname for me.
Aiight.........Aiiight.......that pick only strengthens your team.......but i got a counter for your shits............imma have to take TRASH GORDON from SESAME STREET fame.........he would be the only motherfucker on my team with the sense to take the pebble out of his shoe on the planet of retards with pebbles in their shoes.....plus he knows how to pick up the phone when it's ringing.......top THAT bitch!!!!............my team is done........the rest is up to you......
The clock is now ticking for Trixie........look for a blockbuster trade offer from Rhian any moment now..........
I WANTED TRASH!!!!!!!! I WANTED TRASH!!!!!!!!! SUPER GROVER WOULD CRASH INTO YOUR TRASH GORDON THEN GIVE HIS BROKEN DOWN ASS A PEANUT BUTTER & JELLY SANDWHICH!!!!!!!!!
Okay, now that I've finished my hissyfit, counted back from ten & taken a deep breath........ THUNDAR THE BARBARIAN is my next pick, that shit about SUPER GROVER was just to make a point, an angry point. THUNDAR THE BARBARIAN is the blue print for HE-MAN. He also took direction from HAN SOLO with his non-vocalizing animalistic side-kick. I'll give a nickel to anyone who remembers that guys name. THUNDAR fought foes beyond his time does anyone know was that the past or the future? Did the Moon crash into the Earth or something? Anyway ripped thighs & a mighty big sword & a pet who can watch your back. What else needs to be said?
Well fuck...........there you have it..........two of the most retarded superhero teams in the history of retardation.........and i think it might be our best drunk collaboration in the history of retards posting on the internets...........can your stupid hero teams top ours?..........i fucking strongly doubt it,bitches.........but bring it if you got the guts...........the retard hero league of fucked-uppedness will begin competition this fall to coincide with the start of the NFL season(that's for those of you with a decided lack of interest in the greatest game conceived by man).........who know's........maybe we can sell the rights to ESPN..............
give us your picks............
Stak
3 comments:
Funny post.
I want Two-Face (enemy of Batman) because he's a lawyer with multiple personality disorder. Try to argue with that.
Gino Vanelli? Love Mark Craney's drum work on Brother to Brother. Also love "Living Inside Myself"...Vanelli with the Yellowjackets on Japanese release of their album Club Nocturne. But then I always was willing to listen!!!
OK - here we go. This is a joint effort between my husband and myself. We're not used to making draft picks because we're allergic to all forms of sport.
Pick #1 - Jimmy the Hapless Idiot Boy from "The Ripping Friends". He may not be able to speak very well, but he really knows how to drool. Created from the DNA of all four Ripping Friends, his favorite cartoon is Donald Bastard and his best friend is his dog, Dirty Dog.
#2 goes to Bipolar Bear from "The Tick". "This looks like a job for BIPOLAR BEAR!! If I could only get out of bed..."
Our third pick is The Cockroach, one of a number of personalities assumed by an unnamed businessman from Cerebus the Aardvark series. By night this retard becomes any one of a number of avenger parodies from the DC/Marvel universe. The Cockroach parodies Batman, "continually pummeling passers-by on the mistaken assumption that they had something to do with the death of his parents at the hands of Red Claw cultists thirty years before." (Cerebuswiki site) Not content with that, he also roams the night as Wolveroach, Ghostroach and Punisheroach, to name a few.
#4 - Batfink (and his sidekick Karate.) This was a 1967 spoof on Batman and the Green Hornet's Cato. Also referenced "Get Smart", using Agent 86's trademark, "Sorry about that" catchphrase. Reused the same animation over and over again no matter what the individual episode storyline. Uses his super-sonic sonar radar and wings of steel to fight crime.
There you have it! By the way, my mom said, when I mentioned this team of retarded superheroes, said, "What about Flash Gordon? He's pretty retarded."
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