17 February 2007

BURN BABY BURN!!!.........or my interview with BRN BRN who's not a disco inferno......



So it's not often one has a world traveler in their livingroom..........tonight, i have just that........allow me to introduce Mr. Brian Smith......affectionately known as BRN BRN to his friends..........aside from being a charming boy, he's also a learned man who lives in a log cabin in South Cakkalacky, enjoying the benefits of exceptionally good taste in beer,music,the universe and everything........i just HAD to get this guy on record for all the world to see what a gift and curse retarded genius entails..........here's da intaview..........

S: You've travelled the world........which part has the shittiest food?

B: I'd say the worst is in some of the remoter areas here in the US. Nebraska and Iowa wore pretty thin. Gas stations and fast food places with no other choices to speak of. Too many gas station ham sandwiches. A whopper gets to be a treat after a while. buh.


S: Have you ever actually turned down a dish involving,say, penis of some kind?

B: Funny you mention that... I was on a trip in China and a bunch of us were eating at some Chinese restaurant, and the locals ordered a bunch of stuff, and there was this glass lazy susan where we spun all the food around for people to pick stuff off of. I ate some bacon looking stuff that wasn't too bad, and Mr. Wong perked up and asked "Oh, you like that?" I told him it wasn't too bad, and he says "Oh! That part of camel!" From that point on my friend Patricio kept trying to convice me that I'd eaten camel dick.

S: What do you think of the current state of affairs in the Augusta music scene?.........

B: There's so much that goes on that I never see. I don't get out so much. But I have seen some realy good shows here. There's a lot of groups that stick around here that I like.

S: Who's your favorite Augusta musician?..........Which Augusta band rocks the mostest?.........

B: The Philip Experience. 'My Baby's On Crack' and "I'm Gonna F You Up the A' are total crowd pleasers.

S: What movie would you say is best to share with a guest......unexpected or otherwise?.........

B: I'll get nailed for this form folks that know me, but I'd say Escanaba In Da Moonlight. Probabbly Jeff Daniels' best work. Quirky as hell but honest. A good gauge for what folks find funny or profound.

S: What's your idea of the perfect evening?........Does it involve sex?........Does it involve alcohol?........Does it involve music?.......do tell,whore........

B: First-date sex with my future ex-wife after a bonfire. With calypso music playing in the background. On absinthe.

S: Finally, give us your desert island list of must haves, music and otherwise......

B: James McMurtry, Voivod, Drum tobacco, Maker's Mark, Samuel Adams Oatmeal Stout, a magnifying glass, Scarlett Johansenn would be nice.

Unhunh!!!!!!............God bless his bursitis ridden elbow.............

Rock it like you got a genius passed out dead drunk on your couch tonight........fart on him while he's unconscious............

Stak

5 comments:

mist1 said...

I like sweet n' sour camel penis.

Rhian said...

Stak - could there ever have been any doubt that we'd become blog buds? Can't wait for your next interview - these are simply yummo - in a wonderful perverted way of course. The best part - they're just as tasty coming back for seconds.

STAK said...

mist........perhaps my least favorite meat to get the chinese treatment............

rhi........no doubt whatsoever.....i owe you for the idea of interviewing all the crazy fuckers i know.......you did it first........thank you dahling......

Rhian said...

but baby - you took it, improved it and made it your own. i bow before your greatness.... oh wait, bending over around you could get a person in trouble.

Rhian said...

STAK - i tagged you for meme on my blog. it's not punishment. really.