POSSIBILITIES..............how some pit bulls might bring the future to ATLANTA........

If you had asked me even as late as 3 weeks ago, i would've told you that the likeliehood of DJ SHOCKLEY ever being anything more than a career backup in the NFL was slim to none..........with MIKE VICK'S indictment things have changed quite a bit........it's more than likely that JOEY HARRINGTON will perform to the best of his ability(which equals sucking like a Hoover)..........COACH PETRINO appears to be a no nonsense, go for the throat type of competitor, and as such seems unlikely to allow JOEYBALL to stink up the field for more than a quarter and a half..........

ENTER DJ...........call me a homer, but i believe starting SHOCKLEY under center would be healing for the franchise, the city and the state.........especially if he kicks ass............i have nothing but respect for a guy who sat on the bench behind DAVID GREENE for all but one year of his college career........he could've chosen to go to another school and likely would've started most anywhere he went.......but he was LOYAL...........and he waited and waited and waited......then he took THE GEORGIA BULLDOGS to the SEC CHAMPIONSHIP............

call me silly, but i want more than anything right now to see DJ SHOCKLEY starting the entire season at QB for THE ATLANTA FALCONS............win,lose or draw........get the guy some snaps..........he could be great one day.........THE ATLANTA FALCONS season is already in the toilet.........or should i say "gone to the dogs"......

Rock it like a fan of the game.........talk about football, not fucking PETA..........


Stak

SHIT!!!.........FUCK!!!........DAMNITT!!!............and other dirty words.............

So now the word comes down after months of feverish,sweaty speculation by ESPN and it's mooky hordes of half retarded talk show hosts (read=too ugly for TV commentary)........Michael Vick has been indicted in what is essentially an interstate gambling racket.........at least, that's what the Feds are interested in..........the rest of the country is more pre-occupied with the brutality of the organized dog fighting aspect of the indictment........i could argue all day long about priorities(some folks would take the life of a DOG over the life of a child......and that brings up a whole other set of arguments, because i'm fairly certain that more children die at the hands of their own parents than dogs at the hands of organized dog fighters.........BUT BUT BUT.......that doesn't excuse the actions of organized dog fighters.........misplaced priorities is all i'm saying).........but the bottom line is this...........FUCK "OOKIE"!!!..........SHIT MAN!!!..........finally,finally, finally the possible line up of talent needed to contend with THE FALCONS and your dumbass gets busted for this retarded shit!!!........WHAT!?!!.........126MILLION wasn't enough for you?!?!?!..........if you're guilty of this, you're more than just dumb(as you've been accused of being over and over in the "sports press").......you are RETARDED...........JOEY MOTHER FUCKING HARRINGTON?!?!?!?...............FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK................


Fuck

Stak

BACK AND FORTH............Trixie and Stak.................

Okay..........Trixie and I are feeling especially in love with each other.............so we're gonna go back and forth.........excuse the cheesey love fest...........

Stak: You are my complement........completing another is not the issue........it's more about how your grooves fit mine....perfectly i'd say........

Trixie: I've grown, I've grown to live up to myself, you've helped me to see so. You're the thing I've been looking for without knowing it. You're the climax to my shibang. I found out who I was then I met you. AND YOU LIKED IT. I liked you, from the get go. ALL BE DAMNED.
All cliches realized. All the things I thought people were stupid for. I wouldn't trade it for the world. On a tray,filled with independent wealth. I'll take whatever I get with you by my side. Along with the fact that you love the friends that made me who you love. I'm thankful for the people that made you the person I can't do without. True love that includes all of us. When we fell in love we extended the coolest network ever. I've found my match....You're the best!!!!!!!!

Stak: I miss those love letters that i received at work on almost a daily basis........this is as good...........and although this may be self indulgent, i believe this outpouring of adoration is healthy in spite of what onlookers may think........did i tell you how brilliant i think you are,Tracy?........did i mention how much i admire your artistic mind?..........did i mention how much i think you rip shit up in THE DIRTY LEFT HAND?.............well i think of you in nothing but glowing terms..........i blow up with pride every time i set foot in public with you........and i can barely contain myself when i set foot onstage with you............let's always pledge our loyalty to each other.........oh wait.......we already did.......we married each other.........

Aint love grand..........

Stak

STAK AND TRIXIE.............poetique.............

First line stak: Lovelorn,forlorn British bitten goathead shearshorn

Line two Trixie: Hospice, forgotten, a piece torn for friendship born

Third line stak: Bread broken, carriage upturned, friends truly duly worn

Fourth line Trixie: Strangers be, tried & treed accepted customs queezily

Fifth line stak: Gourge refused from gullet full, forced forth upon sidewalk

Sixth line Trixie: Walk Walk & keep on walking remember this when you talk.



There there now..................


Here's how it plays out without the play by play........

Lovelorn,forlorn British bitten goathead shearshorn
Hospice, forgotten, a piece torn for friendship born
Bread broken, carriage upturned, friends truly duly worn
Strangers be, tried & treed accepted customs queezily
Gourge refused from gullet full, forced forth upon sidewalk
Walk Walk & keep on walking remember this when you talk.

There ya go.................rock it like you have some command of the English language...........make poems,yo..........

Stak

THIS WEEKEND I ROCK!!!!...........

Rock it like you've got incredible taste in live music..........come see my band this Saturday night!!..........

Stak

GOD BLESS LARRY MUNSON.........and God bless them Dawgs too........

The news this week was that long time GEORGIA BULLDOG football play by play guy,Larry Munson will not be travelling to away games this season.........and the rumor is that this may be his final season.......if it is, the final home game will be a sad day for DAWG fans.........he has been calling games since i was a child and is regarded as one of the best in the business..........when GEORGIA games are televised, folks here turn down the volume on the TV and tune LARRY in on the radio...........word is that he is in poor health...........well God Bless You,Larry Munson..........our love affair with you doesn't end this season...........

ME AND TRIXIE FORWARD DRUNK POST MACH DEUCE........dysfunctional superhero draft.........

Heh.......my favorite line from SPACEGHOST COAST TO COAST.........courtesy of ZORAK........"that nanny needs a lozenge".......that said, me and Trix have decided to post a dysfunctional superhero draft..........if you were gonna have a fucked up superhero team, who would you have?...............pick number one goes to me because i rule here...........feel free to post your draft picks in the comments section.......wait for at least one additional comment before posting your next pick........and i guarantee you my retard superheroes will out fuck up yours........

With the 1st pick of the dysfunctional superhero draft, i pick ..........

SPACEGHOST.........Trixie's on the clock.......tick tick tick.........

I'm goin' with SWAMP THING one of the greatest movies of the 80's, first off if you chop anything off it grows back! Lorraina Bobbitt do your worst. Then the hideous lovable guy always touches me in that special place...uhh Brian you're the 1st.

Uhhhhh.......riiiiggghhhht,Trix............for my next pick, imma have to take THE TICK...........so far i've countered your regenerative unit with 2 brutish retards......plus THE TICK comes with a side kick who's a pussy...........dysfunctionally, you're super retard team's ass is grass......plus, SPACEGHOST likes GINO VINELLI..........extra points for me for my team's shit taste in music...........heh...........your pick,virgin...........

Okay this one's personal. WONDER WOMAN. I loved WONDER WOMAN when I was a kid cause everyone knows that when you play WONDER WOMAN you spin around to change from Linda Carter into WONDER WOMAN. I really loved spinning around untill I was too dizzy to stand up. It looks like both Linda & I grew out of spinning & took on heavy drinking. I still feel like WONDER WOMAN when I'm too dizzy to stand up......... for Stak's sake.

Stak's on the clock.....tick tick tick...........

Okay, you've clearly upped the ante,bitch........that WONDER WOMAN pick was straight up a groin shot, being as she's not really all that dysfunctional....except for the fact that Linda Carter is equal to you in the drunk department...........so i've gotta play smart here.......for my next retarded dysfunctional super hero team pick, i select....................tick tick tick........wait for it.........

THE BURGER KING!!!............that's right bitches!!!........i totally saw this badass murder RONALD MCDONALD...........the blood was straight ketchup..........top THAT...............this time, if you're gonna pick a chick, make it a drunk slut like LINDSAY LOHAN...............the clock is now ticking for Trixie..........tick tick tick.........

Alright, this one's for Troma, I was gonna go for the obvious Toxic Avenger. Since he's really a goodie goodie at heart & the only dysfunctional thing is that he works for Troma it doesn't really count. So, my pick to show my love for the Troma is
SGT. KABUKI MAN NYPD. Rough around the edges and kicks ass in a dress, yep its Harry whatshisname for me.

Aiight.........Aiiight.......that pick only strengthens your team.......but i got a counter for your shits............imma have to take TRASH GORDON from SESAME STREET fame.........he would be the only motherfucker on my team with the sense to take the pebble out of his shoe on the planet of retards with pebbles in their shoes.....plus he knows how to pick up the phone when it's ringing.......top THAT bitch!!!!............my team is done........the rest is up to you......

The clock is now ticking for Trixie........look for a blockbuster trade offer from Rhian any moment now..........

I WANTED TRASH!!!!!!!! I WANTED TRASH!!!!!!!!! SUPER GROVER WOULD CRASH INTO YOUR TRASH GORDON THEN GIVE HIS BROKEN DOWN ASS A PEANUT BUTTER & JELLY SANDWHICH!!!!!!!!!

Okay, now that I've finished my hissyfit, counted back from ten & taken a deep breath........ THUNDAR THE BARBARIAN is my next pick, that shit about SUPER GROVER was just to make a point, an angry point. THUNDAR THE BARBARIAN is the blue print for HE-MAN. He also took direction from HAN SOLO with his non-vocalizing animalistic side-kick. I'll give a nickel to anyone who remembers that guys name. THUNDAR fought foes beyond his time does anyone know was that the past or the future? Did the Moon crash into the Earth or something? Anyway ripped thighs & a mighty big sword & a pet who can watch your back. What else needs to be said?


Well fuck...........there you have it..........two of the most retarded superhero teams in the history of retardation.........and i think it might be our best drunk collaboration in the history of retards posting on the internets...........can your stupid hero teams top ours?..........i fucking strongly doubt it,bitches.........but bring it if you got the guts...........the retard hero league of fucked-uppedness will begin competition this fall to coincide with the start of the NFL season(that's for those of you with a decided lack of interest in the greatest game conceived by man).........who know's........maybe we can sell the rights to ESPN..............

give us your picks............

Stak

THIS IS A MIGHTY MIGHTY JERSEY......this 8 will eat you...........*snicker*

I saw this over at With Leather and just had to share it here.......prepare for hilarity because this guy is clearly living in Loo Loo Land.......beware anyone you see wearing a Detroit Lions jersey on the street.......clearly, they are mighty and will smite you with the number 8...........i'm a hopeless Atlanta Falcons fan, but i'm not nearly as deluded as this wingnut......i would never post vids on Youtube proclaiming Mike Vick as a "Touchdown Assasin".........which is worse, a D&D obsessed geekazoid or a Detroit Lions fan?........well, this guy is obviously both.........have a good laugh,folks.........it's on this idiot.......

Rock it like a fan with some sense......wait for your team to put together a winning season before you go around warning the entire NFL of your teams dominance.....sheesh......

Stak

APPARENTLY, MY ASS ROCKS...........is that a good thing?......

The fact that this tag used to say "girl" in the middle is not lost on me...........i'm kind of amused by it..........however, i would like to take this oppurtunity to thank
Rhian as well as the Academy for this honor........even if i did have to show my ass to get it...........

Rock it like a meteorologist.......Rock it like a hurricaine........

Stak

SYMBIOTES...............poetry train car number whatever.........

their destinies forever entwined
the opium poppies
stare dreamily into the night sky
seeing the faces of future junkies
in the rolling clouds
content in the knowledge
that they will meet again soon






Stak

WEEK ONE of MY WEEKLY POWER RANKINGS........a new feature......

Each year, sports journalists engage in the sometimes laughable practice of putting each of the NFL teams in order from greatest to least....the team in the top spot is supposedly the team that will eventually become the Superbowl champion at the end of the season....they call these lists power rankings...the rankings change weekly based on performance.......usually, the teams at the top and the bottom can be agreed upon by most folks.......but things get murky in the middle.........and despite the fact that these lists are absolutely meaningless......sports retards will argue these rankings endlessly throughout the season........actually, they argue about them all year round......it's still 3 months away from the start of the NFL season and these nimrod sports "journalists" are already posting power rankings.......i'm itching for the beginning of football season as much as any average joe, but gatdamm!!!...........

That said, i decided to post some meaningless "Power Rankings" of my own......what follows is a list of things that i think are kick ass(i know, i know it's a blog device...but i've been word-dead lately so it's time to break out of the funk)........

1. MILLER LITE-coming in strong at the top of the pile is my drink of choice.......and it's quantity,not quality bitches.....truth be told, were i posting power rankings for about the past 5 years, Less Filling and Great Taste would've been champion the entire time........extra points for purposeful misspelling......





2. JOE GRAVES AND THE DIRTY LEFT HAND-i play drums in this band.....we rock well.......we got a show at THE FIREHOUSE tomorrow night......you should come to it.......





3. AMERICAN SKIN-my other band......serious ROCK for that ass......the only reason AMSKIN is ranked below THE DLH is because we're in a rebuilding year......

4. SEX-no explanation needed....





5. GUITAR HERO II-This ridiculously fun video game is really nothing more than an advanced version of the game SIMON(remember that one)...except that you get to strap on a fake plastic guitar to play it.........it has recently come under harsh criticism by insecure guitar teachers everywhere.........fuck those guys, this game is a hoot and a half.........

6. MEXICAN RESTAURANTS ON SUNDAY-i live in the Bible Belt and we have so-called "blue laws" which are set forth to force the values of a bunch of Bible thumping fucktards on the rest of us normal people......so you can't buy beer here on Sunday.......but the Mexican Restaurants are open on Sunday......and they never run out of beer..........plus burritos are mighty tasty.......





7. PORN-9 out 10 guys who aren't total douchebags agree.......porn is good for the soul......

8. SILVERSUN PICKUPS- i recently acquired a copy of their latest cd called CARNAVASE.....do yourself a favor and go out and buy it.....seriously good, dreamy shit........the leader sounds like the guy from GRANDADDY..........and that's not too shabby....





9. THE VIEW FROM MY SEATS- i got tickets to the first regular season FALCONS home game against THE PANTHERS on Sept. 23rd.......fuck yes!!!!......i cannot wait.....

and finally.........

10. TOBLERONE- thank Allah for impulse buys in the checkout line at TARGET....chocolate never tasted so good........

There you have it, my week one power rankings.........feel free to discuss or post your own..........these are subject to change on a weekly basis, but i'm willing to bet that some form of beer will remain at number one for a long time to come......or at least until i'm attending AA meetings on a more regular basis........

Rock it like you're getting back on the horse........show no fear.......

Stak

HAPPY BIRFDAY TO TRIXIEIPECAC!!!..........we had great dinner.....

Would look at that?!!!.........She got the cake, but i think i got the real present in this equation.......We went out to Bistro 491.......can you say posh.......indeed it was posh and expensive......but a real treat......

Stak

SOME R&R CULTURE FOR DAT ASS!!!!!............come see me rock

DUALISM.............me and trixie forward drunk post number one.......

Trixie says she loves Billy Connely's scottish accent..............forward fast to the fact that we just convened JOE GRAVES AND THE DIRTY LEFT HAND practice.........and we are fucking PLASTERED............i mean our gills are plastered to the side of our necks(did i mention the fact that we're both sea monsters?)..............at any rate, late night tv is prompting us to "get zwinky" right now...............in the face of that, i'm extra retarded............that given, imma turn it over to someone with some sense.........Trixie?............

I like a scottish accent because I'm a fan of the Red Dwarf series. Heard of it? Its you're run of the mill step up from Dr Who & Hitch-hikers guide to the galaxy. As far as gills go....I only thrashed around with that thing in the black lagoon once & as far as I know gills aren't contagious are they??? Maybe I was just drunk & he had really dry skin, maybe it was some wanna be surfer from the isle of palms.....the windjammer was jammin' though.........

Rock it like Trixie got this shit under control........allow yr chick to blog when you've lost all touch with reality...........think i'll have another beer.......

Stak

Post script.........she rocks don't she..............

THRASHER'S GROCERY............an account of a trip into Normaltown,GA..............

The irony of the name given to Normaltown(a small suburban section of Athens,Georgia) is not lost on me...............i have the experience to prove it.........and it's one fucking weird experience...........i cherish it to this day...........

Back in the early 90's, i was actively pursuing music with the intent of conquering the world(news at 11, that shit aint never gonna happen).........i was living in Augusta back then.........however, i had joined a band of Augusta expatriates living in Athens called DEBT OF NATURE.........an extremely psychedelic band, DON was given to partaking in the sorts of substances a band of that nature got all giddy over and what not...........long story short..........after a full night of reveling in the majesty of weirdo music on the stereo(i'm sure DINOSAUR JR's album YOU'RE LIVING ALL OVER ME and a viewing of PINK FLOYD live at Pompei were involved) we decided to visit THRASHER'S GROCERY in Normaltown...........it was 7am at this point and breakfast was in order.........and as i was informed, THRASHER'S served a mean biscuit............

This supposed grocery was set in the middle of a neighborhood of shotgun houses, rundown and with multiple broken down cars and trucks a requirement on the lawns.......as we walked in, i noticed a kid sitting on the porch of the neighboring house.........he was a dead ringer for the banjo playing mongoloid in DELIVERANCE..........stepping into this place, i realized it was a grocery store in name only...........the shelves were lined with industrial sized jars of mustard and pickles...........not much else...........but there was a glass meat counter.........behind the counter, was a woman with no teeth and a mole the size of Alaska with a hair the length of the Alaskan pipeline jutting jauntily from said mole.........keep in mind,i'm completely fucked up here on powerful psychedelics.........i thought i'd stepped into an alternate universe.........this woman took our orders for bacon,egg and cheese biscuits........she passed the orders through a window to the kitchen to a hairless lady with an equal tooth deficit.......they passed out the biscuits through the window of toothless ladies........the biscuits were the size of dinner plates and delicious..........

The kicker came when the DELIVERANCE kid came in from next door...........he walked up the meat counter(this is 7:30am mind you)..........he had a paper grocery sack in his hands..........he promptly states to the mole lady..........."pounda lard"........she regards him briefly, recahes into the meatcase and pulls out a white chunk of animal fat and replies........."pounda lard".........she reaches over the meatcase and drops the animal fat into the sack........transaction completed, DELIVERANCE boy walks out of the "grocery"...........

My mind=completely fucked............

That a was fun experience...........i enjoyed the biscuit.........

Rock it like you can appreciate the odd...........eat the whole fucking gigantic biscuit.......

Stak

BLOCK!.................dammit............

I got a mean case of blogger's block(how fucking gay is that?!).........nothing to see here..........move along dammit!!!...........

Stak

TOUGH GOING...............poetry train car number six...........

We dive into this with intentions questioned
Certain of our desire to make things right
Uncertain of the path we choose
But deeply in love
With one another
Wanting the best possible future
Wanting everything
For this romance
And the ones we love
Around us
Hard decisions
Do they breed content
or contempt
I pray with all my prayer molecules
For the former

Stak

THE MIDNIGHT RADIO GIVES ME CHILLS............incredible use of music in film..........

HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH is one of my favorite films all time.........it doesn't hurt that it's a cohesive statement start to finish that incorporates incredible music and animation to tell the story.........and it doesn't hurt that the story is exceptional..........and i don't care if it's Gay-centric........or gender identity focused...............it just kicks ass..........just enjoy The Midnight Radio........because this is one of the many songs on the soundtrack of this film that should've been a top 40 smash hit..........simply put, this and other songs from this film ROCK.............



Just fucking rock it.............


Stak

LONGING..............poetry train car number five i think....

Awakened from sleep
feeling the pull
you are my gravity
I ache for you when you are away
I long for your proximity
When in the space between our bodies
The air grows small fingers
Conduits for the adoration
We share for each other
You are my complement





Rock it like you're in love......write sappy poetry for your mate..........

Stak

WICKED SCEPTOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FUN WITH TOILET..........busted.......

MY CUP IS ALWAYS FULL..........poetry train car number four...........

I am a vessel
I am also an agent
Trying to cram it all into the vessel
Life abundant to the point of overflow
Not a moment un-lived
Not a door un-opened
Not a flavor worth tasting
Un-tasted
I am a conduit
I am also electric
Trying to electrify the pathway
Nerves bridging gaps too wide to span
Not an impulse un-heeded
Not a thought un-tumbled
Innervating errogenous zones once
Un-feeling



Rock it like time is limited...........Carpe Diem!............

Stak

THE WAR............dirt clod armageddon............

Some of my most memorable childhood moments come from the period of time when i was between the ages of 6 and 9.......it was a more innocent time(never thought i'd hear myself say that about the 70's)and i was given alot of freedom to roam the neighborhood.......especially during the summer....i spent alot of time in my back yard anyway........it was a big back yard.........it wasn't fenced.........it was separated from the backyard of the adjoining house by a shallow ditch.......

One summer day, we brewed up a war..........the kids from the next street over versus me, my sister, Hank(you remember him from the Captain America post,right?), and few other kids from neighboring houses.......it was the dirt clod fight to end all dirt clod fights.........they rained from the sky and exploded on impact.......at some point, i found myself out of position,dirt clods exploding off of the small pine tree i was using for cover.....i decided to retreat for better cover......i turned to run..........this is where one of the future sociopaths on the opposing army chose his spot.......ignoring all the rules and regulations of dirtclod wars(ie. no throwing rocks,etc.)this assmonkey threw a brick.............it hit me flush on the back at the shoulderblade......i wasn't wearing a shirt........it left a perfectly brick-shaped abrasion on my back, including the 3 holes down the center......it hurt like a sonuvabitch........i ran into the house crying........

Mom promptly put an abrupt end to the dirtclod war........

Rock it like a battle wounded veteran......tell your kids to request cover fire before you retreat.........

Stak

GREECE IS THE WORD...............or why i'm positively green right about now.....

Bpops(or my dad to you guys)is on a 2 weeks+ vacation in Greece right now........they sent me this picture..........meanwhile i'm driving around in a pickup truck with no AC,sweating my ass off...........i cannot begin to tell you how jealous i am.........but haha, he'll be broke until this time next year.......i told them to be careful with the National drink of Greece, Ouzo.........if you drink enough, you'll see visions.............i hope Dad brings me back a big bottle of the stuff as a present..........it's the least the guy could do,right?..........plus i'm up for a vision or two............preferably one in which my clothes don't stick to me................

Rock it like it's hot........blow it a little before consumption......

Stak

THE DESCENT..........a rolling commentary............

Tonight i'm watching THE DESCENT.................i enjoyed the revenge flick HOSTEL....if you're not familiar with the plot of HOSTEL, it's kinda like the great American vacation version of SAW in Europe......with discos.............in this flick, they've reversed the field a bit by having a bunch of cave divers,who happen to be chick Europeans tackling caves in THE APPALACHIANS in the southeastern mountains of America...........GUESS WHO'S gonna win THIS FIGHT..............i have learned thrill seeking friends who're part hippie/part punk/part metal-head who regularly dive caves in the southeast..............to a man they each give the caves around here a metric ton more respect...........the caves here are SCARY dangerous all by themselves........and that's without the possibility of crazy cave mutant monsters..........that's all i'm sayin.........

How come none of these Brit bitches have any liquor?.........they're gonna NEED it............and how come they keep losing their accents?...........and when's the last time you saw a gang of chicks dive a cave?...........shit never happens..........

Their reticence at the beginning of the actual descent tells me all i need to know..........if you announce "Oh my God, I'm gonna die" at the beginning of the flick, you're officially FUCKED..............

RULE NO. 2 of cave diving.........if you're scared out of your panties by a cloud of bats..............YOU'RE OFFICIALLY FUCKED.............

and why in the fuck would anyone believe a group of all girls would dive a cave?..........i'm not sexist, i'm just sayin'.............

yep, they're fucked..........this is fun............

i gotta pee..........break time............somehow i'm thinking this movie is gonna kick ass despite some very obvious flaws.........the best B horror flicks always do.......

the question now is.........which bitch will be the first one to die.............

somehow i think this chick that's squirreled into a hole is gonna find the first dead body.........

"Sarah you have to calm down......just breathe"...........

"It hasn't got a name(the cave system), it's a new system"..........these chicks are fucked..........this is great...........welcome to the real underbelly of the South,folks..........

showin their grit now...........realizing the "gravity" of the situation now........using those rock climbing skills to traverse a gap.........holy shit,these girls are fucked.......bet they wished they had one of my cave diver friends with them right now............

inuries now..........yep, they're fucked.......they're finding old gear from other climbers.......welcome to THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE...........

imma quit blogging now...........the outcome is not worth the payoff......watch the movie............

Stak

MUSE...........one of my favorite musical discoveries of the past few years...

Enjoy this............these guys are remarkable...........


Stak

EARTHY CRUST............poetry train car number three.......

You crumble in my direction
like a leper
pachouli stink pouring off you
like a poisonous cloud
locks of dread
a glut of months of your own oils and funk
you like to set them on fire
it's your best party trick
"haaaaaay maaaaaannn......you got any rolling papers?"
I want to wash your face in my vomit
an improvement i think


For the record, i'm in some ways hippie-like........and my wife is a total hippie......this poem is a sort of imagined disdain toward earth children..........

Stak

IS BOXING A REAL SPORT?............i don't care either way.....

The last time i saw Oscar De La Hoya fight it was against Mayorga(another figher of mexican decent).........it was great because Mayorga called Oscar a faggot in the weeks running up to the fight........i watched the pay per view bill with a room full of 23 Mexicans.........the only thing Mexicans like more than boxing is soccer(explain THAT shit to me).......so it was a spirited evening to say the least........i spit all the tequila shots they gave me into the nearest potted plant.........i'm sure the plant was fucked up...........i know this because he leaned over and vomited about a shovel-sized amount of potting soil onto the rug at the end of the night...........at any rate, i earned the mexicans' disdain after the first fight on the undercard..........i won the betting pool.........i think i heard the words "gringo puta" whispered betwixt them for at least the next 2 fights.........it was great to watch De La Hoya take the guy who'd called him a faggot and make him into mincemeat pie(note to self-do not EVER question the manhood of a Latino World Champion Fighter).......the Mexicans loved it.......apparently, nobody but Mexicans from Mayorga's hometown give a shit for Mayorga's antics.......in my view, it made for good drama.............

My prediction for this fight is De La Hoya gets his face re-arranged by Floyd.........The Golden Boy likes to take at least half of each round off.........and Floyd hasn't called him a faggot.........YET.........

Rock it like it's not football season yet..........grab your sporting events where you can get em............

Stak

SERIOUSLY BATSHIT..........a dispatch from "The Prophet".........i'm not making this up.........

I went to visit the "I wanna be a prophet of God, like Moses" guy today...........i left with a letter for your edification...........The Prophet asks for your prayers so he can achieve his goal............AND i quote............

"Jehovah is great, and the laws of Jehovah must be enforce. I encourage teh theocratic government of Israel to enforce these laws. As the prophet of the nation of Israel I ask for your support. As the prophet of the nation of Israel I thank you for your support. As the prophet of the nation of Israel I want your support. Call xxx xxx-xxxx for more information."



Please send this guy some honeybuns............preferably unwrapped so he can offer them up in sacrifice to Jehovah............

I LOVE MY JOB.....................

Stak

RUNNING WITH WHAT EXACTLY???????????........

Has anyone seen this movie?.................i understand mental illness..........but i was struck by the mom character played by Annette Benning in this movie.........the character is a classic example of Borderline Personality Disorder..........in laymen's terms it's more succinctly put by the term "Drama Queen"............Borderline folks irritate the shit out of me............they are overwhelmingly women............and they were more than likely made to be the way they are by their own mothers...........i hate that shit..............

i would like an objective take on this particular joint by some other folks............especially those who've read the book upon which this film is based...........because i'm guessing the book was a sincere attempt at a memoir...........and i'm guessing the movie rendition has retarded the original artistic statement considerably..........just my gut feeling...........

Stak

TATTOO CONTEST..........uncontested, but we have a winner!!!..........

Feast your eyes upon that,folks!!.........impressive,no?..........That entry was the only entry to my Design My Next Tattoo contest......of course, it was submitted by
Rhian......I am very much blown away by it.........So Rhi,sweetie, you win a DIRTY LEFT HAND T-shirt,the old CD SAME OLD FOIBLES and the new cd TAKE MY HAND AND WE'LL BEAT THEM TOGETHER as soon as it comes out(very soon)and some other things(buttons,stickers etc.)......i think i may have to add some other goodies as well because your work is just so damned cool...........YOU ROCK RHI!!!!!...........THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!

Stak

SNOOZE BAR APOCALYPSE.........poetry train car number two.......

I exist in this limbo.......nerves jangled by the alarm clock
snooze button having been depressed a third time
drifting through strange epic flights of lunacy
not quite asleep
not awake either.......in between
i slide into the dream fully aware that i'm dreaming
a long journey to the shore ensues
water provided along the way by familiar strangers
i reach the coast and join a church raising party
the ladies give up before the work is done
in the Bible i seem to recall a foretelling of the faithful
giving up on the church in the end days
i stand by in amazement as the beach is flooded with screams
as the creatures of the ocean begin to devour the swimmers
blood stew
then as tidal waves crash upon the shore
fires blaze through california
and countless starlets are crushed under the earthquake decay
the alarm clock rings again


Stak

DEADLINE APPROACHING............gimme gimme gimme....

Well.........tomorrow is the deadline for my "Design My Tattoo" contest.............i have no interest to this point and it's almost zero hour........i can only make assumptions............oh well........*hangs head and walks away*...........

Stak

THIS BLOG'S FOR YOU COCK-NOSE......hosing down a complete moron...........

An open letter to COLLIN COWHERD of ESPN radio:


You secretly want to take MICHAEL VICK into your arms and gently caress his man-meat,don't you?........it could be the only explanation for the excessive amount of attention you pay to him on a daily basis.......this in the very midst of the NFL DRAFT(read real news you fucktard)..........why else would you report speculation as fact and then compare someone to a pedophile as a result?...........i HATE you and i sincerely hope that Michael Vick sues you for slander............because you would lose, you slanderous idiot...................FUCK OFF AND DIE!!!!!!!!

Signed,
Your Mother


There...........i feel better............have a happy Sunday, y'all..........

Stak

A PUBIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT..........for your own protection.........

Are you having to put on eye glasses to read this?.........take your other hand off your junk,yo!............

THURSDAY THIRTEEN.........or how i figured out Rhi is a con artist......

These are things i hate...........

1. Memes

2. Blog Devices

3. Your Momma

4. An empty beer box

5. Memes......did i say that already?.........it bears saying again......

6. Rosy O'Donnell

7. Spoons

8. Squirrels

9. Memes

10. Dirty dishes

11. Laundry

12. Corporate radio

13. Memes

I promise i'll make a real blog later within this 24 hour period............

Rock it like.........aww fuck it..........

Stak

PLOT HOLES THE SIZE OF MARS............i watched flightplan tonight..........

Ummmmmmmm............excuse me..........if you happen to be flying home on an international flight...........and everyone in authority is telling you that both your husband and daughter died jumping off a building..........and you're delusional because you thought you got on the plane with your still living daughter............why in the hell are you riding on the plane with ONE coffin...........fatal plot flaw...........that's all i'm sayin..........

Rock it like you're not Hollywood's "suspension of disbelief"..........think as you watch..........

Stak

COMING EVENTS...............

I'm looking forward to sharing the stage with OTITIS.......they're MCG students.......their name is medical speak for ear infection....pretty clever,no?..........They have a very new alt. sound ala MODEST MOUSE............APOSABLE SCUM is heavily informed by SONIC YOUTH.........should be an excellent show..........

Rock it like you're with the band..........be IN the band.......

Stak

A LOVE LETTER TO MY TRIXIE........my car on the poetry train........

Click on the photo to enlarge it.......


Rock it like you're in love.......do it with passion....

Stak

SO I VISITED THE MOSES GUY AGAIN..........honey bun of the weird........

I dropped in on the "i wanna be a prophet of God,like Moses" guy again on friday........on the floor there sat a Nike shoebox with a unopened honey bun on top of it.........i asked why he had a honeybun sitting on a shoebox........he said "i'm sacrificing that honey bun to Jehovah".........he went on to say "i wanna be a prophet of God" and i said "like Moses"........as i was getting ready to leave, i asked him if he had eaten lunch yet.......he replied "not yet, i'm bout to eat that honey bun,though"..........

Rock it like a prophet.........eat the sacrifices........

Stak


Addendum: Rhi is having some sort of poetry monday thing and i thought i might share a little something.........so be prepared to have your soul racked with pain as a result of reading my sublimely shitty verses..........heh heh....

HATE SPEECH HAS NO PLACE AT RYAN CLARK'S FUNERAL........

Ryan Clark is young man from my area who was one of the first murdered at VA. TECH when that disturbed individual went on his shooting spree monday......by all accounts, he was an upstanding fellow who managed a 4.0 GPA and was to graduate with a triple major in a month or so........his poor family, how devastated they must feel.....there have been lots of tears shed on the news as he was very well liked.........my community is grieving his loss........the funeral is this weekend, and reportedly about 100 members of The Hokie marching band are making the trip here for it.........

Someone else is also planning to make the trip as well........the sick and twisted members of the cult that calls itself the WESTBORO BAPTIST CHURCH.....they attend the funerals of war dead and carry sick,insensitive picket signs stating things like "Pray for more dead soldiers" and "God hates fags"........in fact, that's their website URL www.godhatesfags.com.......just unbelievable that someone could get it that twisted........and the more i think about it, the more angry i get that these loons are bringing their poisonous hatred to my backyard............check them out on wikipedia, it's eye-opening........

Rock it like you just might lead a counter protest....don't let the loons win....

Stak

PARENTING QUESTION.........degrees of pressure......

Baby Aidan is crawling like a madman now...........at the last doctor visit he sits above the 95th percentile for length and weight........he is already demonstrating a strength of will,intelligence and good nature that lead me to believe that one day he might be an exceptional athlete............in my life i have had regrets having not even tried more organized sports.......i never even played organized baseball once............i wish i had..........my junior high defensive football coach was an ex-professional baseball player...........he played for the CINCY REDS........he told me at the end of my 7th grade football season that he wanted me to play 2nd base for him based solely on my athleticism on the football field..........i never tried out..........because i'd never had the oppurtunity to play baseball........

Is it too much to believe that i may have a sports star in the making?............how much pressure amounts to being the equivalent of a stage door parent?.............

Rock it like hope..........

Stak

WELL OF COURSE............Mudd wins............i love my dog.....

MUDD VS. THE SERPENT............hog nose snakes should stay away from my house.......

BLOG ISOLATION..........no blog is an island.........

Okay, i know the fucking rules here...........i do realize that one must read and comment to be read and commented upon.........but i think i may be afflicted with some weird blogger disease.......i am the anti-blogger.........all of those silly things that bloggers do the generate traffic, i have zero stomach for(enjoy the my dangling participle you fucks)........i HATE HATE HATE memes..........i don't wanna play the game............take your blog devices and shove them up your considerably gigantic ass,blogosphere...........

To this point, i have absolutely ZERO entrants in my "design my new tattoo" contest(i know, that's kind of a blog device,right..........well so what......i reserve the right to repeatedly contradict myself.....and imma use it.......it feels great).........i was looking forward to the responses to that........however, i forgot the fact that i only have something like 5 readers.........makes contests sorta moot...........

I thought posting my bare ass on the internets for the entire world to see would generate some interest..........so far, only my wife stares at it.........

I suppose i should be thankful for the high quality of individual that reads my drivel on a regular basis............truly some fine folks...........but my vanity won't let me............*grumble*

Stak

WELCOME BACK TO REALLY WEIRD..........i gotta new job..........

As some of you may know, i work with the mentally ill..........for the past 3 and a half years or so, i've been working with children.....mentally ill children are one thing.........ADULTS with mental illness are a whole 'nother circus.......on my new job i'm working with adults........i would suppose there are few fields of work more colorful.......

Today,i went around to meet some of the patients i'll be working with........myself and my team leader visited their homes.........i knew i was in for a ride when we pulled up to the door of the first patient's apartment in the projects........a sign on the door boldly proclaimed "DISCIPLE OF MOSES"........i thought to myself "Holy shit!!! This is the projects!! I could get shot!! Where do they keep the crack and marijuana? Where are all the crack hos i've heard so much about? I wonder if I could get a gat here on the down low and cheap. Nice sign".........over the course of an hour long visit, this patient proclaimed "I wanna be a prophet of God,like Moses" approximately 647 times(it was his pat response to every question we posed).........it got to the point that i was finishing his catch phrase for him.........he would say "I wanna be a prophet of God" and i would butt in "like Moses"..........it was fun..........i don't think he liked me stealing his thunder like that........he asked me to read a Bible verse.......i politely declined stating that it was my personal policy never to mix business and fiction....he looked at me quizzically and said "I wanna be a prophet of God".........i finished his catch phrase for him.........

The next patient proclaimed that the reason she always has unsafe sex is because rubbers dry her out down there.........she's almost 60 years old.......and a grandma to boot....i didn't wanna hear about that stuff.......imagine your grandma showing up at the health department to get some treatment for a wicked case of the clap........i know,right..........

At the final visit of the day, the patient told me i look like a Greek God......i knew he was bullshitting..........i only look like that on GOOD days.........



Rock it like your job will never be boring.......be kind to the beloved lunatics in your life..........

Stak

NO TITLE NECESSARY............commentary either.........

PEEWEE............and no this post has NOTHING to do with a penis......

I love football.......almost to the point of fanaticism......oh hell, i AM a fanatic actually........in the off-season, i long for pre-season.......i pay attention to all the off-season moves and speculate which team will draft which player.......i play fantasy football during the regular season......and i faithfully hitch my hopes to the one-wheeled wagon that is THE ATLANTA FALCONS.........yep, imma fanatic......

I think the reason i love football so much is the oppurtunity to live vicariously through the players, experience their triumphs and failures if you will......i played the game once upon a time....and NFL and college ball helps me relive my days playing rec. league and junior high ball.......

Sadly, i never once had the oppurtunity to play on a winning team......every team i played on was the rebirth(or afterbirth maybe) of the Bad News Bears,only they were football teams instead of baseball teams..........i excelled to a point within these failed organizations......but as they say "there is no I in team"......i was hampered by the fact that i was never a very big guy also......

I remember when i played on my first team at 6 or 7.......we were THE BULLDOGS.......but as poorly coached as we were, it would've made more sense to call us THE BULLSHIT........my family was poor at the time, so instead of cleats, i had to wear my regular tennis shoes...they were Payless specials or "catheads" as everyone called them.........not even real Chuck Taylors..........and they always flew off when i ran............our stupid coaches had me running alot as i played half-back and returned kickoffs.........on the first play of the season as i ran back a kickoff, i was hit from two sides and upended.......my left shoe must've flown 30 feet..........i was mortified........i'm not sure if we won a single game that season.........

My skill and fearlessness had increased exponentially by the time i reached 7th grade......i played free safety(roverback)for TABOR JUNIOR HIGH in Warner Robins,GA.......and i was a starter........i think i missed 4 tackles all season.......but i made those tackles at the expense of my body.........at something around 5ft tall and less than 120lbs, i was not intimidating to opposing running backs......so instead of trying to evade my tackles, they ran straight at me.....it hurt...........but most of the time i made the tackle........even if the guy that just flattened me outweighed me by a hundred lbs.........

The following season, i turned around at the door of the gym on the day of football tryouts......not too long after that i picked up drums.......now I'M the one doing the brutalizing..........

And i've gotten great pleasure out of watching the exploits of others on the field........NFL and college to be sure.......but most notably my son, who has enjoyed success on his rec. league football teams..........

Rock it like a FALCONS fan........NEVER give up on the ones you love.........

Stak

HAPPY EASTER TO ALL MY PEEPS!!.........or to quote Paris Hilton, "That's hot".......

The sex faces on the bunnies made me giggle............


Rock it like you're a marshmallow pornographer........sex your peeps.......

Stak

I COULD USE A SHOUT OUT RIGHT ABOUT NOW.........

while things seem to be going well, i'm feeling low...............


can i get a shout out?...............


i need it....................



i really really need it............

Stak

SHEER MOVIE-GOING PLEASURE............gore,violence and sex make me giddy.......

ONCE AGAIN,I'M SHOWING MY ASS..........what's new,right?.......

it has cake on it at least..............actually, that's a Napolean(i know, appropriate) from Sunshine Bakery..........tasty stuff........of course, i threw it out and drank a beer instead.........no ass confections for me............anyway, this is for you,Rhi........you wretch..........

*hanging my head.........it's only a short jump from here to internet porn*

Stak

TATTOOED NATION.........a contest..........

I've been thinking...........in this time of transition, i want something to commemorate the change........i have some tattoos........they are all strictly black work..........i want more(because everyone knows tattoos are addictive).........Lord knows i've got to work hard with all the current musicians who all seem to have full sleeves and Hepatitis C..........gotta keep up with the Jonses after all.........

So here's what i'm proposing..........design my next tattoo.......i know at least 2 of my 3 regular readers are graphic artists(I may need your help,Rhi to get the word out if i want more than two entries).......i will wear the winner's entry on my body for the rest of my life........in return, they win a JOE GRAVES AND THE DIRTY LEFT HAND cd,T-shirt,button and sticker.......additionally, they will receive a reserved copy of the next DIRTY LEFT HAND cd scheduled to drop any time now and a reserved copy of the AMERICAN SKIN cd scheduled to drop at the end of this month......that's a helluva prize package.......

Thematically, i'm thinking a Phoenix rising sorta deal.........strictly black work.......approximately 4 by 4 inches to handily fit on my right deltoid..........

Let's see whatcha got friends!...........

Rock it like you want new ink......beg for good art because you aint about to put any old template from the tattoo parlor on your body..........

Stak

R.I.P. CAPTAIN AMERICA............

OYSTER ROAST..........or how my son became the world champion of vomit........

Rock it like you're eatin' em raw.......only try not to gag.........

Stak